Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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