obamas trench

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

thumb_up thumb_down -69

What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

thumb_up thumb_down -105

Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the moron jump through the window?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

thumb_up thumb_down

What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

thumb_up thumb_down -10

JUSTIN BIEBER IS A FAG

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A homeless man comes home from work.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops