Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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Dont look at me.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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