Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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I'm hungry.

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

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How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops