Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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what sucks? things that suck

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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