why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

thumb_up thumb_down -101

Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

thumb_up thumb_down -179

Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

thumb_up thumb_down +60

3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

thumb_up thumb_down +58

A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +121

Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

thumb_up thumb_down +29

My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Men's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +13

America

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops