Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down -53

why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

thumb_up thumb_down -107

what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -117

What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what sucks? things that suck

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

thumb_up thumb_down +53

You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops