A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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America

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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what sucks? things that suck

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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