roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

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What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

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Did you hear about the black man who went to college? Me too! I'm so proud of him!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

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PATHETIC

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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