What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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i like cats

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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