Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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A baby seal walked into a club.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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a black man jumps in a pool.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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69

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Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

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Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

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Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

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Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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