What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

Get in the car.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

Sonic

A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza One is an ethnicity derived from Africa and One is an Italian dish that is well'ly known in all four corners of the world.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

You copy and paster!

Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

when the doctor asked him why he was sad andreas replyd i have a small penis and drew and devin keep making me drop the soap

A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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