Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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America

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4 is half the number 8 is.

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor? -Cody Williams

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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