Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Miley Cyrus.

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

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How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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