How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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i like cats

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Men's Rights

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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