a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

Justin Bieber

why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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