There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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69

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Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

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Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

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So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

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a black man jumps in a pool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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