What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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What's worse than being a Packer Fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... oh, wait....

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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