Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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69

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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Women's Rights.

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What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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one day a grape was in the sun raisin

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what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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