Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

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So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

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What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

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Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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A blonde, brunette, and a red head were walking on the side of the road and a fridge landed on them and they died. At least they still could go to their funerals.

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PATHETIC

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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