cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

69

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Women's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

one day a grape was in the sun raisin

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

thumb_up thumb_down -110

Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +159

My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops