There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza One is an ethnicity derived from Africa and One is an Italian dish that is well'ly known in all four corners of the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

thumb_up thumb_down +22

a black man jumps in a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

i like cats

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops