Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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A baby seal walked into a club.

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

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You wanna hear a real joke? Well, look at the post below this one.

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

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Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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Yo mamas so fat, that I need a new pair of sunglasses.

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza One is an ethnicity derived from Africa and One is an Italian dish that is well'ly known in all four corners of the world.

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Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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