Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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