Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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