Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

You wanna hear a real joke? Well, look at the post below this one.

Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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