When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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A baby seal walked into a club.

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Miley Cyrus.

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I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

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You wanna hear a real joke? Well, look at the post below this one.

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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