Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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PATHETIC

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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