Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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Men's Rights

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

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Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops