Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

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You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

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whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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