Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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i like cats

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops