Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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i like cats

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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Justin Bieber

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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