Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops