What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops