Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

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Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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