Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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Jews...

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JUSTIN BIEBER IS A FAG

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So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

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Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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Apple.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

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when the doctor asked him why he was sad andreas replyd i have a small penis and drew and devin keep making me drop the soap

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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