Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Mexicans are like waffles

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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Penis.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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Why is your face? Because.

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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