An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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What's worse than death? Nothing.

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Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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Get in the car.

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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