Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

Who has the biggest cock A rooster

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

400 asian people walked in a bar

Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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