What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Mexicans are like waffles

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So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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1,984

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Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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JUSTIN BIEBER IS A FAG

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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