Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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This is a racist joke but who cares!? What is the difference between a black guy and a bag of shit? The bag I apologize to all my fellow black friends. -Lets go MEts

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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What's worse than death? Nothing.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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Apple.

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

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Society.

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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