Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

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Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

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roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

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What did the blind boy get for christmas? harry potter transcribed in braille so he could enjoy such a magical world like the rest of us

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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