A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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