Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What's the difference between mustangs and dead babies I don't collect mustangs

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

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What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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What did the blind boy get for christmas? harry potter transcribed in braille so he could enjoy such a magical world like the rest of us

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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