Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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What's brown and sticky? A penis.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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What's worse than death? Nothing.

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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69

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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