Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

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What did the blind boy get for christmas? harry potter transcribed in braille so he could enjoy such a magical world like the rest of us

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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Test

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

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What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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