Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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4 is half the number 8 is.

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

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Get in the car.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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