What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

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Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

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how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

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What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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when the doctor asked him why he was sad andreas replyd i have a small penis and drew and devin keep making me drop the soap

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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