What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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Who has the biggest cock A rooster

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A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

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What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

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A baby seal walked into a club.

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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