It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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Yo mama is so fat!

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

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Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops