Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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Apple.

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Why did the one-legged chicken say déjà vu? It felt a strong sensation that the current event had been experienced in the past.

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

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There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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