Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

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Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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Justin Bieber walks into a Gay-Bar. He is then kindly escorted out because he is underage. Also, because the patrons gave him certain looks that brought concern to the heterosexual bartender.

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

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What happened when the asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

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knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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