what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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A baby seal walked into a club.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

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Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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