It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

Yo mama is so fat!

What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

Fags are gay.

The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

What do old people really like? Anal sex.

Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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