Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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A baby seal walked into a club.

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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400 asian people walked in a bar

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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