Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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Justin Bieber walks into a Gay-Bar. He is then kindly escorted out because he is underage. Also, because the patrons gave him certain looks that brought concern to the heterosexual bartender.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

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Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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Why is your face? Because.

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Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

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Apple.

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops