Who has the biggest cock A rooster

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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Fags are gay.

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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What did the blind boy get for christmas? harry potter transcribed in braille so he could enjoy such a magical world like the rest of us

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Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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