What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

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So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops