What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

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Fags are gay.

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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Why is your face? Because.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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