Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

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Why is your face? Because.

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Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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Bob fell off his roof.

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Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops