Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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Justin Bieber walks into a Gay-Bar. He is then kindly escorted out because he is underage. Also, because the patrons gave him certain looks that brought concern to the heterosexual bartender.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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JUSTIN BIEBER IS A FAG

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what do you call a man in a hole Fill

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

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Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

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Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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