Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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Justin Bieber walks into a Gay-Bar. He is then kindly escorted out because he is underage. Also, because the patrons gave him certain looks that brought concern to the heterosexual bartender.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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