Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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obamas trench

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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knock knock. who's there thatsron thatsron who thatsron man

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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You copy and paster!

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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How do you call a black man? By his first name.

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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