My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

thumb_up thumb_down -193

Why did the moron jump through the window?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

69

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops