How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Hi

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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Yo mama so fat she doesn't need news, shes worldwide. ~YN~

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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obamas trench

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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one day a grape was in the sun raisin

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knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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