Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

69

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

obamas trench

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Society.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

thumb_up thumb_down +93

An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Bob fell off his roof.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops