Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

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What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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Sheesh people! Stop insulting my last comment! Do not GO into my comment section, I do not WANT YOU to keep thumbing up those that call me pedo. Moral: Norway... you gonna call us all pedophiles? Please... besides I prefer them over nineteen... the downside is that they often got a couple of kids already at that age... Sigh...

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Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

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Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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