There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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i am a dwarf i have a big nose im a ranga nice to meet you julia

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

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What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

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A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

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There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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