A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

thumb_up thumb_down -150

when the doctor asked him why he was sad andreas replyd i have a small penis and drew and devin keep making me drop the soap

thumb_up thumb_down +145

An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

thumb_up thumb_down +31

400 asian people walked in a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

thumb_up thumb_down +13

4 is half the number 8 is.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -73

What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

thumb_up thumb_down -131

You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Mexicans are like waffles

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops