Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

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Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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Test

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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