knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

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You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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banana

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

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There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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