Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

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What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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What do you call a black man from Germany? A Germ.

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

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Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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if you read this you are gay

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Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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