What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

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whats long black, eight inches and sometimes has white on the tips of them? a black mans foot the wears an eight inch shoe.

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roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

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Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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knock knock. who's there thatsron thatsron who thatsron man

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

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Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

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Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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