Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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Mexicans are like waffles

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Penis.

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Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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What did the blind boy get for christmas? harry potter transcribed in braille so he could enjoy such a magical world like the rest of us

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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Get in the car.

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

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1,984

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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