Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

4 is half the number 8 is.

Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

A baby seal walks into a club.

Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

Why did the moron jump through the window?

A homeless man comes home from work.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

69

What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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