Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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Apple.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

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So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops