How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

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400 asian people walked in a bar

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How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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Apple.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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