Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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Who has the biggest cock A rooster

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

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ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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obamas trench

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops