Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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69

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

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You copy and paster!

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A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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Why did Suzy's neck hurt? Because it was broken

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

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You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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