2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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What's worse than repeating holocaust jokes? Repeating the holocaust.

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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