Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

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Why is your face? Because.

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Society.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Apple.

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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Who has the biggest cock A rooster

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Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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