A homeless man comes home from work.

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2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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69

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Apple.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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How do you call a black man? By his first name.

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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Why did Suzy's neck hurt? Because it was broken

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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