Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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Why did Suzy's neck hurt? Because it was broken

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

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Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

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What's worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke? Your family being massacred in front of your eyes.

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A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

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Apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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