What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

What do old people really like? Anal sex.

Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

Why did Suzy's neck hurt? Because it was broken

Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

What's green and invisible? This cabbage

You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

banana

What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

Why is your face? Because.

Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...