What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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69

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69

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banana

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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How do you call a black man? By his first name.

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Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

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A baby seal walked into a club.

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A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

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So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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