What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

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Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

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Mexicans are like waffles

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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