Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

69

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -21

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -59

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -141

Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

thumb_up thumb_down -165

Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

thumb_up thumb_down

The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops