Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

thumb_up thumb_down +52

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down +48

whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Jews...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +13

April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops