What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -40

-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

thumb_up thumb_down -84

why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

thumb_up thumb_down -112

I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

thumb_up thumb_down -164

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -176

Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

thumb_up thumb_down -196

Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +223

A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

thumb_up thumb_down +77

knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

thumb_up thumb_down +53

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

thumb_up thumb_down +23

roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you call a cow? A cow

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops