What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down -53

What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -141

Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

thumb_up thumb_down -201

There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

thumb_up thumb_down +64

A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops