Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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Why is your face? Because.

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A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

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What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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