Apple.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

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What's worse than repeating holocaust jokes? Repeating the holocaust.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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Why did Suzy's neck hurt? Because it was broken

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^that joke's not funny

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Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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