The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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1,984

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What's worse than repeating holocaust jokes? Repeating the holocaust.

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

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Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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