Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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i hate anti-jokes ;)

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

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There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

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Hi

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Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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