Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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Apple.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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