What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do old people really like? Anal sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

How do you call a black man? By his first name.

thumb_up thumb_down -121

I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

thumb_up thumb_down -159

What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

thumb_up thumb_down +170

Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +156

?"what's up" "A preposition"

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

thumb_up thumb_down +26

When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops