What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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Hi

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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1,984

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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Apple.

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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