A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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obamas trench

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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Apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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one day a grape was in the sun raisin

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops