Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -96

What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -128

Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

thumb_up thumb_down -196

why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +55

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Yo mamas so fat, that I need a new pair of sunglasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between mustangs and dead babies I don't collect mustangs

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

thumb_up thumb_down -101

A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

thumb_up thumb_down -151

An Asian child flunks a test.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops