What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

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how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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