What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

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how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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