How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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What's brown and sticky? A penis.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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What do all of these jokes have in common? They're not funny. You see, the definition of an anti-joke is a "type of indirect humor that involves the joke-teller delivering something which is deliberately not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The audience is expecting something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value." As this is a page full of anti-jokes, we know to expect the unfunny - thus robbing us of the experience of an anti-joke.

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What do you get if you cross a Black Man with a Knife? Stabbed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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Why did the goblin have no friends? because no one likes a goblin, including other goblins.

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national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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what do you call a man in a hole Fill

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

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9/11

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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A black walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken. He was a customer.

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Q.Want to hear somthing that will never happen A. Sure A. the Houston Astros won a game.

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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