Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

what is small and is not fair Mitt Romneys tax rate

Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

What's the square root of four? Two.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

What can be worst than letting someone you dont know run a chainsaw? Letting Smokey Dokey run a chainsaw!

Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

what did batman say to robin before getting into the car? get in the car.

Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

What's brown and sticky? A penis.

what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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