Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

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What did the cat say to another ? meow

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's brown and sticky? A penis.

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Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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This is my firstever post so I wanted to make it very specialand have it really mean something, then I though fark that for a joke

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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Racial Equality.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

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What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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What Does Alex J Simpsons Face have in Common with his hand? Spaghetti

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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