This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

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My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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Get me a sandwich, bitch

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What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

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What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

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Q: What's sad about seeing a dead twenty year old lying at the corner of a street with a beer bottle in his hand? A: He owed me twenty bucks.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

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What did the boy get for creating a fantastic AntiJoke? Leukemia

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

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ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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