Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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what is small and is not fair Mitt Romneys tax rate

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What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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hey

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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i hate anti-jokes ;)

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin get in the car.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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