Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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who drinks pee? katness

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Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

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What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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