How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

Poop

why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

2 women were sitting quietly.

what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

How did the black man get out of the bathroom? He opened the door.

Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

9/11

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...