Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

thumb_up thumb_down -42

A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -120

What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +127

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

knock knock whos there not me

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

thumb_up thumb_down -115

What's white and sticky? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Once upon a time, your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

thumb_up thumb_down +6

two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops