What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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Once upon a time, your face.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

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You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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knock knock whos there not me

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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How did the black man get out of the bathroom? He opened the door.

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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