Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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knock knock whos there not me

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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Poop

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How did the black man get out of the bathroom? He opened the door.

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Im ashamed of being from Canada

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what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

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Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

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What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

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Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

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why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

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Yo mama is so hairy, because she's arab.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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