Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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How did the black man get out of the bathroom? He opened the door.

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Im ashamed of being from Canada

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How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

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What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

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One white male lives in a city with all blacks. He puts up with gang violence nearly every day.

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knock knock whos there not me

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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9/11

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ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF JUNE, THURSDAY HAPPENED!!!! -ilikecrepes97

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what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

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Q.Want to hear somthing that will never happen A. Sure A. the Houston Astros won a game.

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Justin Bieber walks into a Gay-Bar. He is then kindly escorted out because he is underage. Also, because the patrons gave him certain looks that brought concern to the heterosexual bartender.

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Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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