why did the black guy win a gold medal in the olympics? hard work, dedication and determanation! what no one else can be bothered to do anymore because of all this new technology and stuff!! get of your arse and do something active. NOW!

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

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I'm so hungry I could eat food

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Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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Hello penis

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What is Justin Bieber + One less lonely girl. A BABY

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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