Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

who is still together after all the crap they have been through? your butt cheeks

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

your mammas so fat she has to buy pants in the xxlarge section of the store

Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

9/11

A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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