Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What Does Alex J Simpsons Face have in Common with his hand? Spaghetti

thumb_up thumb_down +5

ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

thumb_up thumb_down -67

what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you make a Trucker cry? Kill his family and chop of his arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -24

your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

thumb_up thumb_down -42

why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

What's red, yellow, and full of diabetes? Mcdonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +147

A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

what did batman say to robin before getting into the car? get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

thumb_up thumb_down -179

What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

got a new boxing bag the other day its hanging from the top of my stairs its called dead seb

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops