What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF JUNE, THURSDAY HAPPENED!!!! -ilikecrepes97

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

Yo mama is so hairy, because she's arab.

I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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