Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

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knock knock whos there not me

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Poop

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What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

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9/11

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

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What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

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ALL OF YOU NO MORE CURSING EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSSABLE SO DON'T LISTEN

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

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Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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