Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF JUNE, THURSDAY HAPPENED!!!! -ilikecrepes97

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agp

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What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

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got a new boxing bag the other day its hanging from the top of my stairs its called dead seb

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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why did the black guy win a gold medal in the olympics? hard work, dedication and determanation! what no one else can be bothered to do anymore because of all this new technology and stuff!! get of your arse and do something active. NOW!

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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Barack Obama.

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What is Justin Bieber + One less lonely girl. A BABY

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rihno? Rihno-elephant

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Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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