A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

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What did the cat say to another ? meow

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why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

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your mammas so fat she has to buy pants in the xxlarge section of the store

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What do you call two gay black men? Homosexuals.

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

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What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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what did batman say to robin before getting into the car? get in the car.

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

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Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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