A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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Why i Hate people. They are alive. The are breathing. The are near me.

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Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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This is my firstever post so I wanted to make it very specialand have it really mean something, then I though fark that for a joke

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knock knock whos there not me

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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A black walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken. He was a customer.

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Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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Hi

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Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

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Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

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What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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