Hi

Hello penis

Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

What did the cat say to another ? meow

Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

Why i Hate people. They are alive. The are breathing. The are near me.

What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

Surprise mother father (A+)

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

If file gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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