knock knock whos there not me

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

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What can be worst than letting someone you dont know run a chainsaw? Letting Smokey Dokey run a chainsaw!

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Racial Equality.

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What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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What's white and sticky? Glue.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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What do you call a black man from Germany? A Germ.

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how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

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What's brown and sticky? A penis.

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Why i Hate people. They are alive. The are breathing. The are near me.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Bitches Like U Belong In The Zoo

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How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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