What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

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national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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What did the boy get for creating a fantastic AntiJoke? Leukemia

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What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

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What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

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What can be worst than letting someone you dont know run a chainsaw? Letting Smokey Dokey run a chainsaw!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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