What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

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what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

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got a new boxing bag the other day its hanging from the top of my stairs its called dead seb

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

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Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

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agp

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

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Barack Obama.

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No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

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In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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