What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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ALL OF YOU NO MORE CURSING EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSSABLE SO DON'T LISTEN

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

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Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

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Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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