What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF JUNE, THURSDAY HAPPENED!!!! -ilikecrepes97

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Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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Im ashamed of being from Canada

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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