Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

thumb_up thumb_down

Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

This is my firstever post so I wanted to make it very specialand have it really mean something, then I though fark that for a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -13

ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops