What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he can't fly

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How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

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Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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what did the poor kid get from santa? Nothing santa hates poor kid, but the rich kid got a very nice convertable.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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whats worse that 3 black guys dieing in a train accident .... one was ur brother the other was gay

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops