How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

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Once upon a time, your face.

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

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How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

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the Holocaust. Because anything involving the Holocaust is automatically an anti joke. the Holocaust wasn't funny.

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You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

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Get me a sandwich, bitch

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what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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