why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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I'm so hungry I could eat food

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what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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What is Justin Bieber + One less lonely girl. A BABY

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What's white and sticky? Glue.

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i am a dwarf i have a big nose im a ranga nice to meet you julia

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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