how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

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What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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Women's rights... Are a legitimate concern in today's society.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

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Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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hi

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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