why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

I dont no the difference between their and there

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

lol

Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

who drinks pee? katness

So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...