why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

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Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

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knock knock whos there not me

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Yo mama's so stupid.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................uh jk

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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Im ashamed of being from Canada

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What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

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What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

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Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops