what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Yo mama's so stupid.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................uh jk

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

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What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

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I'm so hungry I could eat food

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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