Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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Hey man how was your trip? great!!! It blew my mind

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Yo momma is SO black.

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Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

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Poop

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what did the poor kid get from santa? Nothing santa hates poor kid, but the rich kid got a very nice convertable.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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roses are red, violets are blue my name is hitler, good bye jew

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Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

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What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

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Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

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Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

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lol

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What is green with wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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I'm so hungry I could eat food

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rihno? Rihno-elephant

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops