Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

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Women's rights... Are a legitimate concern in today's society.

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

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How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

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whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

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Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops