Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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knock knock whos there not me

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Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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who drinks pee? katness

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

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Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Knock Knock Who's There? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget.

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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