What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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Get me a sandwich, bitch

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

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why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

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A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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hi

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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What is Justin Bieber + One less lonely girl. A BABY

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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2 women were sitting quietly.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

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Once upon a time, your face.

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What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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