When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -140

Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

thumb_up thumb_down -119

What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -123

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

roses are red, violets are blue my name is hitler, good bye jew

thumb_up thumb_down +36

finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

thumb_up thumb_down

Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Hello penis

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

thumb_up thumb_down -68

i am a dwarf i have a big nose im a ranga nice to meet you julia

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A black walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken. He was a customer.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops