What's the difference between a black man and a pile of shit ? One is a black man, the other is a pile of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -142

Knock Knock Who's There? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down -63

What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

thumb_up thumb_down -65

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

thumb_up thumb_down

How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

knock knock whos there not me

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops