Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he can't fly

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hi

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Poop

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

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What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? It's a spicy sort of stew, you'd enjoy it.

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yeah..

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How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

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why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

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Im ashamed of being from Canada

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops