What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Goldfish

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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Knock Knock Who's There? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

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a man died

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Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

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What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

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Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

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A Mexican, and American, and a Chinese man are crossing the street. They all get hit by a car and die.

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops