A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pile of shit ? One is a black man, the other is a pile of shit.

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what did the poor kid get from santa? Nothing santa hates poor kid, but the rich kid got a very nice convertable.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Goldfish

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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yeah..

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

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What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

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Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

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How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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