An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

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Yo momma is SO black.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

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what did the poor kid get from santa? Nothing santa hates poor kid, but the rich kid got a very nice convertable.

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what is hollow and bloody? Vagina when it gets genital herpes

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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Why did the goblin have no friends? because no one likes a goblin, including other goblins.

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What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

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9/11

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

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What's the difference between a black man and a pile of shit ? One is a black man, the other is a pile of shit.

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Knock Knock Who's There? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget.

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why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

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Women's rights.

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? It's a spicy sort of stew, you'd enjoy it.

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What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

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the Holocaust. Because anything involving the Holocaust is automatically an anti joke. the Holocaust wasn't funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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