69

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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Q: What do you call a car full of black people? A: Stolen

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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Once upon a time, your face.

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what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

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JFK

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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what did the poor kid get from santa? Nothing santa hates poor kid, but the rich kid got a very nice convertable.

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Knock Knock Who's There? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget.

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A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

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Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

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What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

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What's white and sticky? Glue.

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What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

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Why couldn't the Irishman walk in a straight line? Because he was a retard.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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