A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

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Two girls are sitting quietly.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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Knock Knock Who's There? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's worse than an apple with a worm? Serial Murder.

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Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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What happened when the irishman left the bar? he didnt

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

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Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

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What is Justin Bieber + One less lonely girl. A BABY

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

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A Mexican, and American, and a Chinese man are crossing the street. They all get hit by a car and die.

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Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

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Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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