How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Gues what makes me smile Mouth muscles

thumb_up thumb_down +172

Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +122

What's faster than a black guy with your TV? Probably someone who doesn't have to carry such a heavy object.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

I'm so hungry I could eat food

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why did the goblin have no friends? because no one likes a goblin, including other goblins.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

thumb_up thumb_down -12

No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops