Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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Women's rights... Are a legitimate concern in today's society.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

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hi

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Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

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why did the man die? because he died.

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What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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Q: What do you call a car full of black people? A: Stolen

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What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

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What's worse than an apple with a worm? Serial Murder.

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What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

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Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

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Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

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What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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