Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

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Hey man how was your trip? great!!! It blew my mind

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

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hi

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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The 80's

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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