Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

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your mammas so fat she has to buy pants in the xxlarge section of the store

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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Once upon a time, your face.

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

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Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

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9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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