Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

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Your mom walks into a bar.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

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Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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The 80's

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

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No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

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69

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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Q: What do you call a car full of black people? A: Stolen

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what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops