What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

thumb_up thumb_down -163

what do you call a disabled black man getting beat up? an unfortunate human

thumb_up thumb_down +36

BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

thumb_up thumb_down +36

how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your mom walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

thumb_up thumb_down -122

what is hollow and bloody? Vagina when it gets genital herpes

thumb_up thumb_down +149

Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the goblin have no friends? because no one likes a goblin, including other goblins.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

JFK

thumb_up thumb_down -37

My brother found snow in his hair from last year... only people who know me know this joke!!haha -sopie

thumb_up thumb_down -105

When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -139

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops