"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I dont no the difference between their and there

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

thumb_up thumb_down

Women's rights... Are a legitimate concern in today's society.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

JFK

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Paperclip... BANANA?!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops