how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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Your mom walks into a bar.

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A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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The 80's

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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