Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -33

WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Hey man how was your trip? great!!! It blew my mind

thumb_up thumb_down +68

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down

Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two girls are sitting quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's older than history? Pre-history.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

JFK

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

thumb_up thumb_down +23

You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops