Knock knock. Who's there?

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Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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Q: What do you call a car full of black people? A: Stolen

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

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What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

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Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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Your mom walks into a bar.

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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JFK

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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A seal walks into a club.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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Women's rights... Are a legitimate concern in today's society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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