Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Two girls are sitting quietly.

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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why did the internet crash? it didn't

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what do you call a disabled black man getting beat up? an unfortunate human

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What's worse than an apple with a worm? Serial Murder.

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what's worse than finding 8 babies in 1 trash can? nuclear warfare

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Q: What does 'A' stand for? A: Effort

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

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why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

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who is still together after all the crap they have been through? your butt cheeks

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What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

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How do you make a Trucker cry? Kill his family and chop of his arms.

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why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Goldfish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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