What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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who is still together after all the crap they have been through? your butt cheeks

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

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JFK

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if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

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what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

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Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

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Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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My brother found snow in his hair from last year... only people who know me know this joke!!haha -sopie

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what is hollow and bloody? Vagina when it gets genital herpes

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? It's a spicy sort of stew, you'd enjoy it.

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roses are red, violets are blue my name is hitler, good bye jew

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Q: What do you call a car full of black people? A: Stolen

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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