How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

What did the stop sign say to the no smoking sign? Stop

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

Flop dog

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

Knock Knock Who's There? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget.

What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

who drinks pee? katness

a man died

Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

Why did susy give up in the corner? Cause she couldnt fight off the black man.

What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

What happened when the irishman left the bar? he didnt

Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...