whats bright and yellow? the sun.

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

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Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Backwards write to fun is it. As long as its forward. Emu

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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what did the poor kid get from santa? Nothing santa hates poor kid, but the rich kid got a very nice convertable.

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Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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9/11

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

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Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

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A Mexican, and American, and a Chinese man are crossing the street. They all get hit by a car and die.

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Your mom walks into a bar.

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Once upon a time, your face.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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