if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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who is still together after all the crap they have been through? your butt cheeks

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A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

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Your mom walks into a bar.

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JFK

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

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A seal walks into a club.

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Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

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what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

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Why did susy give up in the corner? Cause she couldnt fight off the black man.

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A black guy walks into a bar. When he saw the white bartender's bar he got offended. There were heads of hunted animals on the walls. He works for PETA.

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops