What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A disgusting halfbreed which prays daily for its own euthenasia...

did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

Why couldn't the Irishman walk in a straight line? Because he was a retard.

A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

why did the internet crash? it didn't

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

Paperclip... BANANA?!

What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

What do you eat for breakfast and is sometimes blue? Pancakes.

Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

what did the poor kid get from santa? Nothing santa hates poor kid, but the rich kid got a very nice convertable.

what's worse than finding 8 babies in 1 trash can? nuclear warfare

what do you call a black man on the moon? Kid Cudi

An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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