I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

who is still together after all the crap they have been through? your butt cheeks

What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

What's older than history? Pre-history.

Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

A seal walks into a club.

what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

A black guy walks into a bar. When he saw the white bartender's bar he got offended. There were heads of hunted animals on the walls. He works for PETA.

Why did susy give up in the corner? Cause she couldnt fight off the black man.

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...