Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

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What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

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A Jew, an African American, and a homosexual are on an island. They all came to Manhattan for different reasons and are enjoying the lives they've built there.

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What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

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What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

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What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

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What do you eat for breakfast and is sometimes blue? Pancakes.

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Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

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a ghost walks into a bar and sais BOO! The bartender then yelded AAAAHHH! and died of a hart attack.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

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What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

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Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

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Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

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Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding your babies head in a microwave

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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A seal walks into a club.

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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