Gues what makes me smile Mouth muscles

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Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

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What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

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A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

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What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

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What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding your babies head in a microwave

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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Haikus are rigid, Their structure gives them beauty, And if you ignore the structure they kind of don't make sense and are bad.

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A Jew, an African American, and a homosexual are on an island. They all came to Manhattan for different reasons and are enjoying the lives they've built there.

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What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

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Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

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What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

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What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

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No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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