What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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Why did Henry jump of a cliff? He was in deep depression.

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The 80's

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what did the black guy say to the other black guy? good morning

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What was the worst part about the Holocaust? -When it ended

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Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

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finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

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Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

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WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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Haikus are rigid, Their structure gives them beauty, And if you ignore the structure they kind of don't make sense and are bad.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

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Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

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"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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