What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

A seal walks into a club.

What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

What do you eat for breakfast and is sometimes blue? Pancakes.

I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

a ghost walks into a bar and sais BOO! The bartender then yelded AAAAHHH! and died of a hart attack.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. "Knock, Knock!" "Who's there?" "Not Sally"

What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

A Jew, an African American, and a homosexual are on an island. They all came to Manhattan for different reasons and are enjoying the lives they've built there.

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

What did the girl say to her tits? I wanna suck u.

What do you get if you cross a Black Man with a Knife? Stabbed.

Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

why do humans have gall bladders? I honestly don't know

What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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