A seal walks into a club.

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What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

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What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

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Why did the color blind man cut the red wire and accidentally blew himself up and all the other people involved in the situation? Because he didn't know how to defuse a bomb.

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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What's worse than an apple with a worm? Serial Murder.

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

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Women's rights... Are a legitimate concern in today's society.

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How do you make a Trucker cry? Kill his family and chop of his arms.

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

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Knock Knock Who's There? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget.

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A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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A black guy walks into a bar. When he saw the white bartender's bar he got offended. There were heads of hunted animals on the walls. He works for PETA.

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People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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