Q. How much wood would a Wood-Chuck chuck if a Wood-Chuck could chuck wood? A. Wood-Chuck's clearly cant chuck would so what is the point of trying to figure out a question that would never take place in real life?

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Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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a ghost walks into a bar and sais BOO! The bartender then yelded AAAAHHH! and died of a hart attack.

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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What's worse than an apple with a worm? Serial Murder.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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who is still together after all the crap they have been through? your butt cheeks

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

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Your mom is so stupid she went back to collage and got her masters n buissnes.

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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Women's rights... Are a legitimate concern in today's society.

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My brother found snow in his hair from last year... only people who know me know this joke!!haha -sopie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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