whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

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Three Jews walk into a bar... I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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whats a dexter whats a died? HaHaHaHaHa Im so so funny

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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Why is the black guy unable to support his family? He's 3 years old.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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what is worse then breaking on arm breaking two arms what is worse then breaking two arms the holocaust what is then the holocaust Obama care.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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What is the difference between a cow and a pig? To get to the other side.

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Yidi Huang lives here.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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Q. How much wood would a Wood-Chuck chuck if a Wood-Chuck could chuck wood? A. Wood-Chuck's clearly cant chuck would so what is the point of trying to figure out a question that would never take place in real life?

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Why was the fish disappointed with his grades? They were all below C-level!

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Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

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Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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