A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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Why was the fish disappointed with his grades? They were all below C-level!

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What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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why did the baby cry? Someone threw a brick at his head.

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What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

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What did the guy with Alzheimer's say to his.... Wait, I forgot the joke

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Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

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What did the rabbit say to the frog? If you think the rabbit said anything, you need to see a psychiatrist.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. "Knock, Knock!" "Who's there?" "Not Sally"

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Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

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What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

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Why did the Blonde say something stupid? Because she is stupid

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

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What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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Flop dog

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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Three Jews walk into a bar... I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops