knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -68

How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What would be a good feature for this site? A search by keyword feature. (sorry...)

thumb_up thumb_down +53

what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar. What's missing? The joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding it in your nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

God

thumb_up thumb_down -13

roses are red, voilets are creepy, i can beat you in call of duty

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +130

A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down +116

Why did the little girl cry when the x-ray showed her mom had a tumor? It was benign.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

who is still together after all the crap they have been through? your butt cheeks

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Henry jump of a cliff? He was in deep depression.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yidi Huang lives here.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What was the worst part about the Holocaust? -When it ended

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What do you call a mexican running out of a bank? A man running late to pick up his kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

alex h is such a ginger, that her hair downstairs is red.

thumb_up thumb_down -122

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops