Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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What is the priest favorite book? The Bible

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

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Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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What came first: the chicken or the egg? God.

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what did the black guy say to the other black guy? good morning

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding it in your nose.

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Why did it suck to be a black jew during the Holocaust? cause you had to go to the back of the oven

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How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

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What's black and blue and red all over Sex

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who is still together after all the crap they have been through? your butt cheeks

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what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

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you ever put a vibrating phone on your b a l l s ???

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Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

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whats gay and can do flips? A gymnast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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