Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

Why did Henry jump of a cliff? He was in deep depression.

a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar. they all wish me happy birthday bearing gifts. except there's no rabbi. or priest. or shaman. I'm not in a bar. I'm in my room. alone. i spent most of my birthdays that way.

Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

How do you make a clown sad? Throw a brick at him.

How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet with his great grandmother who got rushed to hospital due to having an epileptical seizure and is in life threatning conditions.

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

What kind of cat has no tail? Manx cat

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What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

God

Quess what the trash man did today? He took my trash.

What items don't float? A school bus full of children

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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