Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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What is white and when it falls, your fridge is broken? Your fridge.

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Then lets give this another shot, this time we stop questioning how to make others happy, and if that is what makes us happy, then we ask: What else.

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What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

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Why is the black guy unable to support his family? He's 3 years old.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Good guess!

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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What's red, yellow, and full of diabetes? Mcdonalds

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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Why did Henry jump of a cliff? He was in deep depression.

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Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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