you ever put a vibrating phone on your b a l l s ???

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Why did the tractor run over the little boy? because he was in the way!

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If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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What did Steegers say when he lost his TARDIS? "The niggers stole it again!"

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

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Why did the little girl cry when the x-ray showed her mom had a tumor? It was benign.

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who broke the little boys window? his abductor/rapist.

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You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

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why did the baby cry? Someone threw a brick at his head.

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Why did susy give up in the corner? Cause she couldnt fight off the black man.

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding it in your nose.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

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What was the worst part about the Holocaust? -When it ended

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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