Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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alex h is such a ginger, that her hair downstairs is red.

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What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

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What's red, yellow, and full of diabetes? Mcdonalds

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On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

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Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

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What does a black man, an Irishman, and a Jewish man all have in common? Male genitalia.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

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matt shut up

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What did the young boy say to the adorable kitten? "Aww"

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Why the long face?" The bartender backhands the man making him fall off of his stool.

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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What do you call a man with no legs? Disabled.

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Why women like NBA players so much? Because they have money.

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A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

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Q: Why did the man take a shower? A: because he was dirty.

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A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

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What did Brielle say when she fell off the swing? Ow.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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