whats round red and taste like candy? such a thing doesn't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! I love you for sticking with me that whole time.... But your prize is..!!!! Nothing...absolutely nothing, hope you feel good Or you could buy yourself a pony because ponys are nice

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he is Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a Chinese man flying plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

God

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Backwards write to fun is it. As long as its forward. Emu

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a man with no legs? Disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a sexually abusive man. Dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

thumb_up thumb_down -159

On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

thumb_up thumb_down +98

What would be a good feature for this site? A search by keyword feature. (sorry...)

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's black and blue and red all over Sex

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A. Four gay men walked into the bar there was one stool left what did they do? B. They flipped the chair upside down By grant c

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the young boy say to the adorable kitten? "Aww"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didn't the blond resolved the Cold War? Once the blond's socio-economic background was really poor, she didn't have enough education to solve such geopolitical conflict, envolving imperialism, international influence, militar power and scientifical power, still without armed conflicts, as the respective leaders of both United States of America and United Soviet Socialist Republics knew a armed conflict would cost too much lifes, and even in a totally utilitarian society, the benefits of the war to both countries wouldn't be enough to justify the death of thousands. Therefore, its concluded that a meedle class person wouldn't be enough capable to be the charged to solve this kind of tenssion between States, and it would be really silly if someone happened to encharge the blond in issue.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why women like NBA players so much? Because they have money.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops