How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

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God

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What do you call a man with no legs? Disabled.

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

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What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

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matt shut up

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How did mary and molly have sex it is impossible for two women to perform sex

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69

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A guy walks into a pub. He cant walk out because hes blind.

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he is Jewish

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Why didn't the blond resolved the Cold War? Once the blond's socio-economic background was really poor, she didn't have enough education to solve such geopolitical conflict, envolving imperialism, international influence, militar power and scientifical power, still without armed conflicts, as the respective leaders of both United States of America and United Soviet Socialist Republics knew a armed conflict would cost too much lifes, and even in a totally utilitarian society, the benefits of the war to both countries wouldn't be enough to justify the death of thousands. Therefore, its concluded that a meedle class person wouldn't be enough capable to be the charged to solve this kind of tenssion between States, and it would be really silly if someone happened to encharge the blond in issue.

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What do you call a sexually abusive man. Dad.

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If I said "This AntiJoke will get thumbs up" It will get thumbs up

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What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

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What's black, white and red all over? A popular novel printed in multiple languages.

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A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A chicken doesn't need a motive to cross a road, it just does.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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