knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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Once upon a time, there was a gorilla who found Suzie. Suzie was mauled because she had no arms

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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Mitch

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Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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Q: what do you call this?: the boi wuz ridin the scool bus and it crased in a wal. A: grammacally flawed

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Then lets give this another shot, this time we stop questioning how to make others happy, and if that is what makes us happy, then we ask: What else.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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whats a dexter whats a died? HaHaHaHaHa Im so so funny

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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Why is the black guy unable to support his family? He's 3 years old.

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What did the muffin say to the other? This isn't logical

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what does an Ethiopian man say to greet a Chinese man well, first they must locate a translator fluent in both said languages, but they would most likely say hello

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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