What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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What did the stop sign say to the no smoking sign? Stop

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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why did the baby cry? Someone threw a brick at his head.

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What did the young boy say to the adorable kitten? "Aww"

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What came first: the chicken or the egg? God.

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Milk MILK MILK MILK M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K What do cows drink? Water, and if you thought it was milk, your probably retarded.

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Why didn't the blond resolved the Cold War? Once the blond's socio-economic background was really poor, she didn't have enough education to solve such geopolitical conflict, envolving imperialism, international influence, militar power and scientifical power, still without armed conflicts, as the respective leaders of both United States of America and United Soviet Socialist Republics knew a armed conflict would cost too much lifes, and even in a totally utilitarian society, the benefits of the war to both countries wouldn't be enough to justify the death of thousands. Therefore, its concluded that a meedle class person wouldn't be enough capable to be the charged to solve this kind of tenssion between States, and it would be really silly if someone happened to encharge the blond in issue.

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On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

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Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

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whats bright and yellow? the sun.

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Someone said you sound like an owl Who?

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what did the black guy say to the other black guy? good morning

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How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding it in your nose.

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alex h is such a ginger, that her hair downstairs is red.

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matt shut up

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Yo Mumma so dumb she has to climb over a glass wall to see whats on the other side.... Yo Mumma's so fat when she walked past the tv she made me miss 5 series... Yo Mumma's so fat when god said let there be light she had to move out of the road. That's nearly all that I have, but if u have one leave it in the comment

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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ObamaCare

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roses are red, voilets are creepy, i can beat you in call of duty

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What do you call a mexican running out of a bank? A man running late to pick up his kids.

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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whats round red and taste like candy? such a thing doesn't exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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