Q.Want to hear somthing that will never happen A. Sure A. the Houston Astros won a game.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

What did the muffin say to the other? This isn't logical

thumb_up thumb_down +46

whats round red and taste like candy? such a thing doesn't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A guy walks into a pub. He cant walk out because hes blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a man with no legs? Disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

knock knock whos there not me

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

thumb_up thumb_down +55

who broke the little boys window? his abductor/rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Yo Mumma so dumb she has to climb over a glass wall to see whats on the other side.... Yo Mumma's so fat when she walked past the tv she made me miss 5 series... Yo Mumma's so fat when god said let there be light she had to move out of the road. That's nearly all that I have, but if u have one leave it in the comment

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's red and on fire? My crotch

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Okay, then I am taking the last comment back then.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Someone said you sound like an owl Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the color blind man cut the red wire and accidentally blew himself up and all the other people involved in the situation? Because he didn't know how to defuse a bomb.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the red head never have a boyfriend? She was a lesbian and had always preferred women over men

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the fish disappointed with his grades? They were all below C-level!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did Brielle say when she fell off the swing? Ow.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did susy give up in the corner? Cause she couldnt fight off the black man.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what is worse then breaking on arm breaking two arms what is worse then breaking two arms the holocaust what is then the holocaust Obama care.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding it in your nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops