How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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what's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? the holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? three bee stings.

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What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

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- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

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William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

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what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

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what do you call a retarded italian Niko

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

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what is hollow and bloody? Vagina when it gets genital herpes

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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Yeah Aodhans been typing up everything strting argument along with taggart

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What's worse than an apple with a worm? Serial Murder.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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Why did the color blind man cut the red wire and accidentally blew himself up and all the other people involved in the situation? Because he didn't know how to defuse a bomb.

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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69

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Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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My brother found snow in his hair from last year... only people who know me know this joke!!haha -sopie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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