A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A chicken doesn't need a motive to cross a road, it just does.

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Q: what do you call this?: the boi wuz ridin the scool bus and it crased in a wal. A: grammacally flawed

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a ghost walks into a bar and sais BOO! The bartender then yelded AAAAHHH! and died of a hart attack.

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Backwards write to fun is it. As long as its forward. Emu

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What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

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What's black and blue and red all over Sex

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

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How did mary and molly have sex it is impossible for two women to perform sex

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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What did the young boy say to the adorable kitten? "Aww"

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

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Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

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What do you call a man with no legs? Disabled.

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Why women like NBA players so much? Because they have money.

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Q. Which is bigger, a dog or the Statue of Liberty? (Trick question! Think carefully before looking at the answer!) A. The Statue of Liberty.

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Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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matt shut up

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Mitch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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