What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's red and on fire? My crotch

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How did mary and molly have sex it is impossible for two women to perform sex

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the young boy say to the adorable kitten? "Aww"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Why the long face?" The bartender backhands the man making him fall off of his stool.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? A chicken doesn't need a motive to cross a road, it just does.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

thumb_up thumb_down +98

Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you starve a black man? You don't feed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

82

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why do humans have gall bladders? I honestly don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: what do you call this?: the boi wuz ridin the scool bus and it crased in a wal. A: grammacally flawed

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the guy with Alzheimer's say to his.... Wait, I forgot the joke

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Quess what the trash man did today? He took my trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops