On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

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What did Brielle say when she fell off the swing? Ow.

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Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

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Why do latins like soccer so much? Because it's a very popular sport in the whole world.

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why did the baby cry? Someone threw a brick at his head.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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What's red and on fire? My crotch

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Yo Mumma so dumb she has to climb over a glass wall to see whats on the other side.... Yo Mumma's so fat when she walked past the tv she made me miss 5 series... Yo Mumma's so fat when god said let there be light she had to move out of the road. That's nearly all that I have, but if u have one leave it in the comment

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his wife and kids.

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Quess what the trash man did today? He took my trash.

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ObamaCare

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alex h is such a ginger, that her hair downstairs is red.

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Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

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82

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

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God

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What do you call a man with no legs? Disabled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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