What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

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Your friend is so gay that he came out of the closet and was accepted warmly by his friends and family for who he is a human being.

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

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Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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what kind of animals marriage is high? snails because It has home and car.

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Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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why did the internet crash? it didn't

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roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

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What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

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What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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what is light brown and looks like sand? sand

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How full could a skeleton's stomach possibly be? Replete with perceptible emptiness.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

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On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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