What do you call a black guy with a gun? A soldier.

What do you call a mexican running out of a bank? A man running late to pick up his kids.

What's black, white and red all over? A popular novel printed in multiple languages.

What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

A plane is flying low over New York City. It's low on fuel and needs to land.

What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

What did the muffin say to the other? This isn't logical

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

What person looks most like Jim Carry? Jim Carry

Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

Why did the red head never have a boyfriend? She was a lesbian and had always preferred women over men

Okay, then I am taking the last comment back then.

What do you call a sexually abusive man. Dad.

Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

Why did Henry jump of a cliff? He was in deep depression.

Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

LIE

What's black and white and red all over A nun falling down the stairs

What do you call a Chinese man flying plane? A pilot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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