Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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Anything Dane Cook says

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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What did the muffin say to the other? This isn't logical

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matt shut up

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar, which happens to be holding a support group for dyslexic people tonight. The name of the bar and all patrons are palindromes to avoid confusion.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? i have no idea but i hope he got to the other side safely.

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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Anti jokes SUCK!

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Your friend is so gay that he came out of the closet and was accepted warmly by his friends and family for who he is a human being.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

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What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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