What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

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What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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82

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what kind of animals marriage is high? snails because It has home and car.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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why did the woman cross the road? to get to her full time job as a lawyer.

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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what is light brown and looks like sand? sand

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Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

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If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

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What's uneducated, black, and over six feet tall? A light pole.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

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How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

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A joke were created last night and was so funny! But this is not the case

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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