If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

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why is thus joke stupid? because it is! deal with it!

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Quess what the trash man did today? He took my trash.

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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what is light brown and looks like sand? sand

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What's the difference between a Pogo-stick and a Unicorn. A lot actually.

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What's funny about an anti-joke? It's a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

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82

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Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

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What do you call a gay Jew? I don't know, but Jews are cool.

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Who's this Jesus, have you heard of him?

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How full could a skeleton's stomach possibly be? Replete with perceptible emptiness.

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A plane is flying low over New York City. It's low on fuel and needs to land.

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roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

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how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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Milk MILK MILK MILK M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K What do cows drink? Water, and if you thought it was milk, your probably retarded.

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why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

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Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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