Mitch

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

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Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

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how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

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What's uneducated, black, and over six feet tall? A light pole.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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What is white and when it falls, your fridge is broken? Your fridge.

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If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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why did the internet crash? it didn't

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 had 3 testicles

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Anything Dane Cook says

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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