What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

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Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

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Two computers walk into a bar I forget the rest

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What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Melanin!

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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A plane is flying low over New York City. It's low on fuel and needs to land.

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why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A soldier.

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What do you call a mexican running out of a bank? A man running late to pick up his kids.

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What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

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Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Yo Mumma so dumb she has to climb over a glass wall to see whats on the other side.... Yo Mumma's so fat when she walked past the tv she made me miss 5 series... Yo Mumma's so fat when god said let there be light she had to move out of the road. That's nearly all that I have, but if u have one leave it in the comment

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Why did the red head never have a boyfriend? She was a lesbian and had always preferred women over men

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What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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