Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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What did the muffin say to the other? This isn't logical

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What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

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82

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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Allie said yesssssssss!

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What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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A guy walks into a pub. He cant walk out because hes blind.

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how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

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What do you call a sexually abusive man. Dad.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Melanin!

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What's uneducated, black, and over six feet tall? A light pole.

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What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

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how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

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What do you call a gay Jew? I don't know, but Jews are cool.

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A plane is flying low over New York City. It's low on fuel and needs to land.

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why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

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How Long Is A Chinaman's Name

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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