Your friend is so gay that he came out of the closet and was accepted warmly by his friends and family for who he is a human being.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

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How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

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Who's this Jesus, have you heard of him?

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why did the internet crash? it didn't

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What is the best type of pepper? Well, some people say that the yellow pepper is the sweetest and most delicious, although others prefer red, green or orange peppers.

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Why do latins like soccer so much? Because it's a very popular sport in the whole world.

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Someone said you sound like an owl Who?

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The colour of their skin.

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why did the woman cross the road? to get to her full time job as a lawyer.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

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Three Jews walk into a bar... I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

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Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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