A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

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What do you call a Chinese man flying plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A plane is flying low over New York City. It's low on fuel and needs to land.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

What's uneducated, black, and over six feet tall? A light pole.

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Evolutionarily destined to be eaten by a predator such as a wolf or coyote, barring haing a defense mechanism that allows it to fend off such attacks.

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did Henry jump of a cliff? He was in deep depression.

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Why didn't the blond resolved the Cold War? Once the blond's socio-economic background was really poor, she didn't have enough education to solve such geopolitical conflict, envolving imperialism, international influence, militar power and scientifical power, still without armed conflicts, as the respective leaders of both United States of America and United Soviet Socialist Republics knew a armed conflict would cost too much lifes, and even in a totally utilitarian society, the benefits of the war to both countries wouldn't be enough to justify the death of thousands. Therefore, its concluded that a meedle class person wouldn't be enough capable to be the charged to solve this kind of tenssion between States, and it would be really silly if someone happened to encharge the blond in issue.

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what is light brown and looks like sand? sand

thumb_up thumb_down -22

So a Jewish Family walks into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

thumb_up thumb_down -78

For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

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What did the stop sign say to the no smoking sign? Stop

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What person looks most like Jim Carry? Jim Carry

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What's worse than breaking your leg? Finding out that your family has died due to an infection causing all of them to perish in horrible deaths

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Yo Mumma so dumb she has to climb over a glass wall to see whats on the other side.... Yo Mumma's so fat when she walked past the tv she made me miss 5 series... Yo Mumma's so fat when god said let there be light she had to move out of the road. That's nearly all that I have, but if u have one leave it in the comment

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Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

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Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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God

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Okay, then I am taking the last comment back then.

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What did the muffin say to the other? This isn't logical

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I dropped two snare drums and a cymbal down a hole earlier. They're probably broken now.

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Two gay guys hosted a barbecue. The music and food was great. Everyone had a good time.

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Two computers walk into a bar I forget the rest

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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