82

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how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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Why did the red head never have a boyfriend? She was a lesbian and had always preferred women over men

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ethan skov ex gf looked like a bull mastifs ring piece

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How Long Is A Chinaman's Name

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A soldier.

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What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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What do you call a mexican running out of a bank? A man running late to pick up his kids.

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What's uneducated, black, and over six feet tall? A light pole.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What do you call a Chinese man flying plane? A pilot.

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Okay, then I am taking the last comment back then.

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A plane is flying low over New York City. It's low on fuel and needs to land.

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What did the muffin say to the other? This isn't logical

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Why did Henry jump of a cliff? He was in deep depression.

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Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

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LIE

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Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

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What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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