Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Someone said you sound like an owl Who?

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Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

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Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

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What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? - I dont know man, but you're adopted.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

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Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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what is light brown and looks like sand? sand

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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Three Jews walk into a bar... I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican when he entered the US? How was your flight?

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What's funny about an anti-joke? It's a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

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A plane is flying low over New York City. It's low on fuel and needs to land.

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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