a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? - I dont know man, but you're adopted.

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

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What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

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why did the internet crash? it didn't

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

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LIE

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

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Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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N

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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Three Jews walk into a bar... I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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