Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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ok so what is big yellow and can not swim well dont look for the answer deuce bag

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Whats worse than finding a worm guts in your apple? Being raped by a alien with no arms then passed on to his comrades to be raped for the rest of your life.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Good guess!

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On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? - I dont know man, but you're adopted.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

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The term "serial killer" is a bit strong...i prefer "ghost manufacturer"

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Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

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Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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Why did the black man buy a gun?? He enjoys hunting legally

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Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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