Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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ok so what is big yellow and can not swim well dont look for the answer deuce bag

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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a Chinese man an and a southern red neck walked into a country club and the chinese man got jumped and he left with no money

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A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

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what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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What do you call a black man on the moon? A problem What do you call 10 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call ALL the black men on the moon? A very serious problem. We should probably try and rescue them.

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how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

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Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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What person looks most like Jim Carry? Jim Carry

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patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Good guess!

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

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82

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LIE

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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