How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse than finding a worm guts in your apple? Being raped by a alien with no arms then passed on to his comrades to be raped for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

thumb_up thumb_down +94

How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

The term "serial killer" is a bit strong...i prefer "ghost manufacturer"

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why is thus joke stupid? because it is! deal with it!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

thumb_up thumb_down

what kind of animals marriage is high? snails because It has home and car.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Melanin!

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

thumb_up thumb_down +147

A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

thumb_up thumb_down -31

ok so what is big yellow and can not swim well dont look for the answer deuce bag

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops