why are black peroples noses so big ? because thats where God held them when he spray painted them

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What does a black man, an Irishman, and a Jewish man all have in common? Male genitalia.

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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LIE

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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Three Jews walk into a bar... I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Good guess!

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Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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82

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Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

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what kind of animals marriage is high? snails because It has home and car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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