Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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Whats worse than finding a worm guts in your apple? Being raped by a alien with no arms then passed on to his comrades to be raped for the rest of your life.

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

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Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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I black guy was walking down a street when he saw a beautiful women and said to her that she looked lovely

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Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

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On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

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Who's this Jesus, have you heard of him?

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why did the internet crash? it didn't

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The term "serial killer" is a bit strong...i prefer "ghost manufacturer"

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Someone said you sound like an owl Who?

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Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The colour of their skin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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