what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

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Two computers walk into a bar I forget the rest

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roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

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Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

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What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

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how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

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What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

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82

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how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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A man walks into a bar. What's missing? The joke.

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Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Lemons Lemons who? The fruit

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What's worse than breaking your leg? Finding out that your family has died due to an infection causing all of them to perish in horrible deaths

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69

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Allie said yesssssssss!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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