A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Anything Dane Cook says

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the little girl screaming? She was on fire. ~G TY

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what is light brown and looks like sand? sand

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Melanin!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What's black, white and red all over? A popular novel printed in multiple languages.

thumb_up thumb_down -168

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Quess what the trash man did today? He took my trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock who's there? A serial rapist, now open up. hmmm... Ok... 3 Days passed before they found the serial rapist dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the black man buy a gun?? He enjoys hunting legally

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why is thus joke stupid? because it is! deal with it!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

thumb_up thumb_down +10

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

thumb_up thumb_down +133

For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? - I dont know man, but you're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops