What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How full could a skeleton's stomach possibly be? Replete with perceptible emptiness.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar. What's missing? The joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

thumb_up thumb_down -38

So a Jewish Family walks into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

thumb_up thumb_down -90

For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What did the muffin say to the other? This isn't logical

thumb_up thumb_down +49

roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than breaking your leg? Finding out that your family has died due to an infection causing all of them to perish in horrible deaths

thumb_up thumb_down +11

LIE

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what is light brown and looks like sand? sand

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

thumb_up thumb_down +114

Two computers walk into a bar I forget the rest

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops