Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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LIE

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What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

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What do caterpillars fear most? Death.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

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What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

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ok so what is big yellow and can not swim well dont look for the answer deuce bag

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What is white and when it falls, your fridge is broken? Your fridge.

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A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Good guess!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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Three Jews walk into a bar... I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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