Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Sgt. Richard, here... your son was raped many times by Iranian soldiers, then forced to make love to many goats and had his limbs chopped off.. he will never be able to walk, talk or poop without assistance again. OH MY GOD, NO!.. WHY!!! Haha just kidding mam, he stepped on a landmine and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

thumb_up thumb_down +94

What's funny about an anti-joke? It's a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Someone said you sound like an owl Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I black guy was walking down a street when he saw a beautiful women and said to her that she looked lovely

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what is light brown and looks like sand? sand

thumb_up thumb_down -20

ok so what is big yellow and can not swim well dont look for the answer deuce bag

thumb_up thumb_down -40

The term "serial killer" is a bit strong...i prefer "ghost manufacturer"

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Melanin!

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Whats worse than finding a worm guts in your apple? Being raped by a alien with no arms then passed on to his comrades to be raped for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops