What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

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Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

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What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

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How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

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What does a black man, an Irishman, and a Jewish man all have in common? Male genitalia.

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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LIE

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The colour of their skin.

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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Your friend is so gay that he came out of the closet and was accepted warmly by his friends and family for who he is a human being.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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