A man walks into a bar. What's missing? The joke.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

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patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

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What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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what is light brown and looks like sand? sand

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So a Jewish Family walks into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

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roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

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LIE

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Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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What's worse than breaking your leg? Finding out that your family has died due to an infection causing all of them to perish in horrible deaths

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69

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

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Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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