Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

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LIE

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Melanin!

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whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

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Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

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On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

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A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

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What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

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Three Jews walk into a bar... I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

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why did the internet crash? it didn't

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Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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