how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a mexican running out of a bank? A man running late to pick up his kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Melanin!

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

thumb_up thumb_down +132

roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

thumb_up thumb_down +38

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Okay, then I am taking the last comment back then.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did Henry jump of a cliff? He was in deep depression.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock who's there? A serial rapist, now open up. hmmm... Ok... 3 Days passed before they found the serial rapist dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What person looks most like Jim Carry? Jim Carry

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

N

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If I said "This AntiJoke will get thumbs up" It will get thumbs up

thumb_up thumb_down -59

alex h is such a ginger, that her hair downstairs is red.

thumb_up thumb_down -119

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops