patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

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Two computers walk into a bar I forget the rest

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

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Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Melanin!

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So a Jewish Family walks into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

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Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the black man buy a gun?? He enjoys hunting legally

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

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what is light brown and looks like sand? sand

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Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

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What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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LIE

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What's worse than breaking your leg? Finding out that your family has died due to an infection causing all of them to perish in horrible deaths

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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