A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

thumb_up thumb_down +147

Your friend is so gay that he came out of the closet and was accepted warmly by his friends and family for who he is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

What does a black man, an Irishman, and a Jewish man all have in common? Male genitalia.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

LIE

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what kind of animals marriage is high? snails because It has home and car.

thumb_up thumb_down

Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops