What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Sgt. Richard, here... your son was raped many times by Iranian soldiers, then forced to make love to many goats and had his limbs chopped off.. he will never be able to walk, talk or poop without assistance again. OH MY GOD, NO!.. WHY!!! Haha just kidding mam, he stepped on a landmine and died.

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If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

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On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

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Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

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why did the internet crash? it didn't

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The term "serial killer" is a bit strong...i prefer "ghost manufacturer"

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Someone said you sound like an owl Who?

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Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The colour of their skin.

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why did the woman cross the road? to get to her full time job as a lawyer.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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Three Jews walk into a bar... I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

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Your friend is so gay that he came out of the closet and was accepted warmly by his friends and family for who he is a human being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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