A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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Three Jews walk into a bar... I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Good guess!

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Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? A problem What do you call 10 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call ALL the black men on the moon? A very serious problem. We should probably try and rescue them.

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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