Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Evolutionarily destined to be eaten by a predator such as a wolf or coyote, barring haing a defense mechanism that allows it to fend off such attacks.

thumb_up thumb_down +111

A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

who broke the little boys window? his abductor/rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Someone said you sound like an owl Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

KSI

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

thumb_up thumb_down -121

For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the stop sign say to the no smoking sign? Stop

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What person looks most like Jim Carry? Jim Carry

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar. What's missing? The joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the Chinese man cross the road? To get to the Chinese restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

thumb_up thumb_down -44

roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Two computers walk into a bar I forget the rest

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's black and buried in my backyard? An African American, I'm a member of the Ku Klux Klan

thumb_up thumb_down +17

how do you double your cash? You rip it in half.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's white on top and black on bottom? Society

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Okay, then I am taking the last comment back then.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a sexually abusive man. Dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a black guy with a gun? A soldier.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops