roses are red vioets are blue i have chlamydia now so do you....

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Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

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roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

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Two computers walk into a bar I forget the rest

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What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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Why did the red head never have a boyfriend? She was a lesbian and had always preferred women over men

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Why did the little boy and the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because they were dead.

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What do you call a mexican running out of a bank? A man running late to pick up his kids.

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Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

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What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

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Q: What do you call a fly with no wings. A: Dying.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Sgt. Richard, here... your son was raped many times by Iranian soldiers, then forced to make love to many goats and had his limbs chopped off.. he will never be able to walk, talk or poop without assistance again. OH MY GOD, NO!.. WHY!!! Haha just kidding mam, he stepped on a landmine and died.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding it in your nose.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Okay, then I am taking the last comment back then.

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Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

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What items don't float? A school bus full of children

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What's uneducated, black, and over six feet tall? A light pole.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

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For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

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Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

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What do you call a black man on the moon? A problem What do you call 10 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call ALL the black men on the moon? A very serious problem. We should probably try and rescue them.

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what kind of animals marriage is high? snails because It has home and car.

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What did Steegers say when he lost his TARDIS? "The niggers stole it again!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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