Anything Dane Cook says

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what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

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Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

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Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

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patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

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A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar, which happens to be holding a support group for dyslexic people tonight. The name of the bar and all patrons are palindromes to avoid confusion.

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LIE

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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What is the best type of pepper? Well, some people say that the yellow pepper is the sweetest and most delicious, although others prefer red, green or orange peppers.

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whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

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What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

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What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

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Your friend is so gay that he came out of the closet and was accepted warmly by his friends and family for who he is a human being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops