A Weight loss service that works

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A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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Anything Dane Cook says

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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LIE

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Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

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Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

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A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

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Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar, which happens to be holding a support group for dyslexic people tonight. The name of the bar and all patrons are palindromes to avoid confusion.

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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Your friend is so gay that he came out of the closet and was accepted warmly by his friends and family for who he is a human being.

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What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

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What is the best type of pepper? Well, some people say that the yellow pepper is the sweetest and most delicious, although others prefer red, green or orange peppers.

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Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Melanin!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops