What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

Anything Dane Cook says

What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

KSI

What do caterpillars fear most? Death.

What does a black man, an Irishman, and a Jewish man all have in common? Male genitalia.

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

Why do latins like soccer so much? Because it's a very popular sport in the whole world.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

A. Four gay men walked into the bar there was one stool left what did they do? B. They flipped the chair upside down By grant c

A dyslexic man walks into a bar, which happens to be holding a support group for dyslexic people tonight. The name of the bar and all patrons are palindromes to avoid confusion.

Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

What do you call a black man on the moon? A problem What do you call 10 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call ALL the black men on the moon? A very serious problem. We should probably try and rescue them.

What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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