Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Sgt. Richard, here... your son was raped many times by Iranian soldiers, then forced to make love to many goats and had his limbs chopped off.. he will never be able to walk, talk or poop without assistance again. OH MY GOD, NO!.. WHY!!! Haha just kidding mam, he stepped on a landmine and died.

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

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why did the internet crash? it didn't

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Two computers walk into a bar I forget the rest

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I black guy was walking down a street when he saw a beautiful women and said to her that she looked lovely

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69

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patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

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Why women like NBA players so much? Because they have money.

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If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

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On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

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Your friend is so gay that he came out of the closet and was accepted warmly by his friends and family for who he is a human being.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

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What's worse than breaking your leg? Finding out that your family has died due to an infection causing all of them to perish in horrible deaths

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Why was the little girl screaming? She was on fire. ~G TY

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what kind of animals marriage is high? snails because It has home and car.

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What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The colour of their skin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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