Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down +100

whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

thumb_up thumb_down -44

So a Jewish Family walks into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

thumb_up thumb_down -98

A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender felt bad and gave him $20.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock who's there? A serial rapist, now open up. hmmm... Ok... 3 Days passed before they found the serial rapist dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the moon say to the sun? "I am the moon."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

thumb_up thumb_down -99

Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

thumb_up thumb_down -151

Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You know what's addicting? Heroine.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down -54

knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops