Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

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Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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LIE

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How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

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What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

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Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

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how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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What'd yellow and can"t swim. A black person with a yellow shirt on.

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patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

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whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

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A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender felt bad and gave him $20.

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What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

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What person looks most like Jim Carry? Jim Carry

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What's worse than breaking your leg? Finding out that your family has died due to an infection causing all of them to perish in horrible deaths

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What do you call a black man on the moon? A problem What do you call 10 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call ALL the black men on the moon? A very serious problem. We should probably try and rescue them.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

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Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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