Why did the Chinese man cross the road? To get to the Chinese restaurant.

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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What do you call a black piano player? You call him a pianist who plays a black piano. However, that really doesn't seem all that short, so you may just want to call him by his name, whether it be Bob, Jeff, or Ronaldo.

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how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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Knock knock who's there? A serial rapist, now open up. hmmm... Ok... 3 Days passed before they found the serial rapist dead.

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Q: What do you call a fly with no wings. A: Dying.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

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what kind of animals marriage is high? snails because It has home and car.

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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Why do latins like soccer so much? Because it's a very popular sport in the whole world.

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ethan skov ex gf looked like a bull mastifs ring piece

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why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

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why is thus joke stupid? because it is! deal with it!

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Someone said you sound like an owl Who?

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What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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