i just want thumbs up so i feel better about myself.....

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a scotch on the rocks. Realizing how strange this occurrence was, the bartender immediately calls the local news station and tells them there is a talking horse in his place of business and it would be in their best interest to come do a story on it, because the likelihood of them finding another story of this magnitude is quite slim.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? - I dont know man, but you're adopted.

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Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

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What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

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So a Jewish Family walks into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

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Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

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What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

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Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

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Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

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A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender felt bad and gave him $20.

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adam shagged katie lololol

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what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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