What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

roses are red vioets are blue i have chlamydia now so do you....

why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

How Long Is A Chinaman's Name

On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

The term "serial killer" is a bit strong...i prefer "ghost manufacturer"

What does a black man, an Irishman, and a Jewish man all have in common? Male genitalia.

A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

Allie said yesssssssss!

Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

Why do latins like soccer so much? Because it's a very popular sport in the whole world.

Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

What do you call a black piano player? You call him a pianist who plays a black piano. However, that really doesn't seem all that short, so you may just want to call him by his name, whether it be Bob, Jeff, or Ronaldo.

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

Knock knock who's there? A serial rapist, now open up. hmmm... Ok... 3 Days passed before they found the serial rapist dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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