Anything Dane Cook says

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What kind of cat has no tail? Manx cat

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roses are red vioets are blue i have chlamydia now so do you....

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? - I dont know man, but you're adopted.

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he is Jewish

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ethan skov ex gf looked like a bull mastifs ring piece

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patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

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Okay, then I am taking the last comment back then.

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How full could a skeleton's stomach possibly be? Replete with perceptible emptiness.

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What items don't float? A school bus full of children

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Why did the little boy and the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because they were dead.

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The colour of their skin.

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KSI

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

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Q: What do you call a fly with no wings. A: Dying.

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Someone said you sound like an owl Who?

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops