roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What does a black man, an Irishman, and a Jewish man all have in common? Male genitalia.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

thumb_up thumb_down

Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How Long Is A Chinaman's Name

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What do you call a black piano player? You call him a pianist who plays a black piano. However, that really doesn't seem all that short, so you may just want to call him by his name, whether it be Bob, Jeff, or Ronaldo.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

thumb_up thumb_down +103

What is the best type of pepper? Well, some people say that the yellow pepper is the sweetest and most delicious, although others prefer red, green or orange peppers.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

The term "serial killer" is a bit strong...i prefer "ghost manufacturer"

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Knock knock who's there? A serial rapist, now open up. hmmm... Ok... 3 Days passed before they found the serial rapist dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Someone said you sound like an owl Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Sgt. Richard, here... your son was raped many times by Iranian soldiers, then forced to make love to many goats and had his limbs chopped off.. he will never be able to walk, talk or poop without assistance again. OH MY GOD, NO!.. WHY!!! Haha just kidding mam, he stepped on a landmine and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How full could a skeleton's stomach possibly be? Replete with perceptible emptiness.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Allie said yesssssssss!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What do you call a mexican running out of a bank? A man running late to pick up his kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops