Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's white on top and black on bottom? Society

thumb_up thumb_down +1

ethan skov ex gf looked like a bull mastifs ring piece

thumb_up thumb_down -15

patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How full could a skeleton's stomach possibly be? Replete with perceptible emptiness.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

KSI

thumb_up thumb_down -59

What did the stop sign say to the no smoking sign? Stop

thumb_up thumb_down +20

69

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anything Dane Cook says

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he is Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Okay, then I am taking the last comment back then.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

ok so what is big yellow and can not swim well dont look for the answer deuce bag

thumb_up thumb_down -47

A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

who broke the little boys window? his abductor/rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops