Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

Is your refrigerator running? Go fuck yourself

Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he is Jewish

What'd yellow and can"t swim. A black person with a yellow shirt on.

why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

Anti jokes SUCK!

A black man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender asks "Where did you get that?" The monkey replies "Africa, there are thousands of them."

A black man enters a bar. The bartender approaches him, and asks "who will it be?" The black man pulls out a gun and robs the bar, he is then arrested ten days later.

You know what's addicting? Heroine.

What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

What person looks most like Jim Carry? Jim Carry

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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