Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Sgt. Richard, here... your son was raped many times by Iranian soldiers, then forced to make love to many goats and had his limbs chopped off.. he will never be able to walk, talk or poop without assistance again. OH MY GOD, NO!.. WHY!!! Haha just kidding mam, he stepped on a landmine and died.

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How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? - I dont know man, but you're adopted.

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Your friend is so gay that he came out of the closet and was accepted warmly by his friends and family for who he is a human being.

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How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender felt bad and gave him $20.

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Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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a Chinese man an and a southern red neck walked into a country club and the chinese man got jumped and he left with no money

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What's the difference between a Pogo-stick and a Unicorn. A lot actually.

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Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

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Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

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Q: What was so funny about the death of Michael Jackson? A: There wasn't anything funny. He was one of the best pop stars ever and many people loved him.

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Someone said you sound like an owl Who?

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What person looks most like Jim Carry? Jim Carry

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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KSI

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What do you call a black piano player? You call him a pianist who plays a black piano. However, that really doesn't seem all that short, so you may just want to call him by his name, whether it be Bob, Jeff, or Ronaldo.

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How do you treat a homeless man? Like any other person, you disgusting fuck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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