Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

Three women, a blonde a brunette and a readhead, jump out of an airplane without wearing parachutes. And this is why women should stay in the kitchen.

What do you call a black piano player? You call him a pianist who plays a black piano. However, that really doesn't seem all that short, so you may just want to call him by his name, whether it be Bob, Jeff, or Ronaldo.

What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

LIE

What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he is Jewish

Why women like NBA players so much? Because they have money.

Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

So a Jewish Family walks into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

A black man enters a bar. The bartender approaches him, and asks "who will it be?" The black man pulls out a gun and robs the bar, he is then arrested ten days later.

Knock knock who's there? A serial rapist, now open up. hmmm... Ok... 3 Days passed before they found the serial rapist dead.

patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

Anything Dane Cook says

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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