whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he is Jewish

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

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A man heard a thundering sound. It was thunder.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? Possibly because it saw some sort of reason to do so, and being a chicken. Doesn't see the danger in motor vehicles.

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

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Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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roses are red vioets are blue i have chlamydia now so do you....

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why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

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a Chinese man an and a southern red neck walked into a country club and the chinese man got jumped and he left with no money

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

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Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

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What does a black man, an Irishman, and a Jewish man all have in common? Male genitalia.

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Why was the little girl screaming? She was on fire. ~G TY

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69

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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