Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The colour of their skin.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

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What does a black man, an Irishman, and a Jewish man all have in common? Male genitalia.

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A man heard a thundering sound. It was thunder.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

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Q: What did one raccoon say to the other? A: We do not know, as raccoons do not speak any human language. And no human being can understand or communicate with one.

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Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he is Jewish

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Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

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A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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Anything Dane Cook says

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69

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Why did the Chinese man cross the road? To get to the Chinese restaurant.

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Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

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what's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? the holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? three bee stings.

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Why was the little girl screaming? She was on fire. ~G TY

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Sgt. Richard, here... your son was raped many times by Iranian soldiers, then forced to make love to many goats and had his limbs chopped off.. he will never be able to walk, talk or poop without assistance again. OH MY GOD, NO!.. WHY!!! Haha just kidding mam, he stepped on a landmine and died.

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Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops