A black man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender asks "Where did you get that?" The monkey replies "Africa, there are thousands of them."

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

How did bob survive the explosion? He wasn't at the explosion.

Most of men think: the bigger dick they have, the more pleasure they can give to woman. Most of women don't thinks so, becouse they haven't got a dick.

A kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans them up? A bear.

why are black peroples noses so big ? because thats where God held them when he spray painted them

two jews walk into a bar and were served properly

A dyslexic man walks into a bar, which happens to be holding a support group for dyslexic people tonight. The name of the bar and all patrons are palindromes to avoid confusion.

What do you call a mexican riding a bike? A cyclist.

"Nice pair of crocs" said nobody

What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

A black man owns his own night club. He tells the white man to look out for his night club. The white man bangs his head. The black man says, I told you to look out, you have now bumped into my big club that I take out at night time.

After waking up at the break of dawn, a man saw his dogs food dish was empty. In slight excitement for his dog to finally eat after his dish being empty all night, he called his dog in from outside, expecting him to go straight to his food dish like always. The dog walked by without noticing.

what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Ah, come in!

Don't look! I'm naked! No, seriously! I'm naked!

Yo momma is so fat... Her body mass is above average.

What's the difference between a Pogo-stick and a Unicorn. A lot actually.

What do you get if you cross a black man with a knife? Stabbed.

Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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