Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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Good for him. Thats wonderful!

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A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

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Why did The chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? Possibly because it saw some sort of reason to do so, and being a chicken. Doesn't see the danger in motor vehicles.

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what kind of animals marriage is high? snails because It has home and car.

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Yo momma is so fat... Her body mass is above average.

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What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar. they all wish me happy birthday bearing gifts. except there's no rabbi. or priest. or shaman. I'm not in a bar. I'm in my room. alone. i spent most of my birthdays that way.

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Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

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roses are red, voilets are creepy, i can beat you in call of duty

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Okay, then I am taking the last comment back then.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

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Poverty.

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A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

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why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

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How did the gymnast fall off the beam? Got shot in the face

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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i just want thumbs up so i feel better about myself.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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