A black man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender asks "Where did you get that?" The monkey replies "Africa, there are thousands of them."

thumb_up thumb_down +89

What do caterpillars fear most? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

why are black peroples noses so big ? because thats where God held them when he spray painted them

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

You know what's addicting? Heroine.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Is your refrigerator running? Go fuck yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Hey girl, the word of the day is "legs". So let's go home and research the origin of the term and possibly conduct other etymological studies.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Most of men think: the bigger dick they have, the more pleasure they can give to woman. Most of women don't thinks so, becouse they haven't got a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"An alcohol walks into a man. He is a family and is destroying the bar." Says the drunk man to the bartender who wrote it on Anti-joke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a guy walks into a bar and finds an empty chair near the jukebox. He orders a drink and some peanuts and has a really good time listening to the music and drinking his beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Q: What do you call a fly with no wings. A: Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down -14

i just want thumbs up so i feel better about myself.....

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A black man owns his own night club. He tells the white man to look out for his night club. The white man bangs his head. The black man says, I told you to look out, you have now bumped into my big club that I take out at night time.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the moon say to the sun? "I am the moon."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you call a retarded italian Niko

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the woman cross the road? to get to her full time job as a lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What'd yellow and can"t swim. A black person with a yellow shirt on.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hello penis

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Whats worse than finding a worm guts in your apple? Being raped by a alien with no arms then passed on to his comrades to be raped for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

thumb_up thumb_down -99

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops