What did the working mother get her son for Christmas? Empty promises.

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mooooh im a cow

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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why did the stupid boy put his clothes on his valentines? because hes stupid

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Kid walks into principals office Principal: do you know why I called you down here. Kid: yeah, I punched a kid at lunch. Principal: that's not why I called you down here

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Your mom is so stupid, she decided to go back to school.

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-Knock knock. -Who's there? -Doctor. -Docter who? -Yes...

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A priest, a rabbi and an imam walked into a bar and had a great time because all of them worship the same God. (Obs: The imam ordered only soft drinks)

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A man walks into a Scottish bar and sits down. Another man sitting at the end of the bar recognizes him and says "Hello, I've heard of you, I must ask, how did you get your name?" He replies, "You see that wall out there, protecting the town? I built it with me own 2 hands, so they call me Jon the Wallbuilder.

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what did the chicken say to the farmer? nothing, chickens dont talk.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. He never got an ice cream he is alergic.

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What do you get when you cross a polar bear and a vampire? A Vampire Polar Bear.

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what has 9 legs, 4 feet and is orange? nothing.

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Excuse me sir, you wouldn't happen to have the time, would you?

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What's really ugly and smells like a hampster? My hampster.

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what do you do if you catch syphilis from a Swedish prostitute? seek the help of a medical professional.

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y do churches have kneelers?, cuz it puts less stain on ur knees

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After waking up at the break of dawn, a man saw his dogs food dish was empty. In slight excitement for his dog to finally eat after his dish being empty all night, he called his dog in from outside, expecting him to go straight to his food dish like always. The dog walked by without noticing.

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"Nice pair of crocs" said nobody

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a dyslexic man can't spell a word, don't judge him

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Q: How many apples grow on a tree? A: All of them

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the battle of waterloo

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What do you call an German with a knife in his leg ? An ambulance as he has a serious leg wound and will soon die of blood loss

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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