the battle of waterloo

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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"Nice pair of crocs" said nobody

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a dyslexic man can't spell a word, don't judge him

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What do you get when you cross a polar bear and a vampire? A Vampire Polar Bear.

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what's famous and sounds like a type of food? a famous artist's name slightly modified to include the name of a food

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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who has no willy? robbie kearns

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Once upon a time, there was a man named John. John loved pancakes

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If life gives you lemons, you can't really make anything because you lack the proper materials.

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What's the difference between a terrorist and Bill Gates? One founded a successful software company, and the other commits mass murder of civilians for political gain.

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What do you call an German with a knife in his leg ? An ambulance as he has a serious leg wound and will soon die of blood loss

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Good for him. Thats wonderful!

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what happend when a blind guy tried to save a guy from a fire big mistake they both died

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Kid walks into principals office Principal: do you know why I called you down here. Kid: yeah, I punched a kid at lunch. Principal: that's not why I called you down here

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what is worse than the holocaust harry' ear acne

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Why did the little boy and the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because they were dead.

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Why did the retarded man jump off a building to commit suicide? He didn't try to commit suicide. He was mentally retarted and didn't know any better.

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Excuse me sir, you wouldn't happen to have the time, would you?

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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A nigger looked up his family tree and a gorrila shit in his face

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What's really ugly and smells like a hampster? My hampster.

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Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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