What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? Literally an endless list of things.

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Your momma is so fat that she is on a diet and exercises regularly.

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September 8, 2011 Amy Winehouse: 46 days sober. Date of death: July 23, 2011

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What did the working mother get her son for Christmas? Empty promises.

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How do you survive a plane crash?? You don't

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see.

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A rabbit enters in apharmacy and asks for a carrot. The man says:"There aren´t any carrots in here." In the next two days the same happens, but the man replies that he'll hammer the rabbit if he comes back. In the other day, the rabbit is found dead with a bloody hammer nearby.

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4/20.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop

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What did the toaster say to the bread? Nothing. Toasters can't talk.

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Why didn't the boy respond to the text? His phone had run out of charge.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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Q)Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? A)Because the P is silent.

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Q: If a turtle loses its shell is it naked, homeless, or dead? A:Yes

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Three men walk into a Bar.... You'd have thought at least one of them would have seen it !

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken!!!!!

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What do you call a black person pushing a car? A very strong human being.

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Why was Jesus able to walk on water? Because he was the son of God and therefore devine, he can do whatever he pleases

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough it was car. The End

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Kid walks into principals office Principal: do you know why I called you down here. Kid: yeah, I punched a kid at lunch. Principal: that's not why I called you down here

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there are three dudes one is white, one is mexican, one is black so a wizard says wish of something you want to be and jump off the roof. so the white guy wishes to be and eagle and jumps off and is an eagle the mexican wishes to be an owl and jumps off an becomes an owl then the black guy wishes he had to shit and jumps off and falls to the ground cause he turns into shit.

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Q: What did one blind girl ask the other? A: Where are you?

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what did the kid say when he could not find his shoe? wheres my shoe?

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A man walked into a store and asked if he could use the restroom. They found this acceptable and let him use it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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