whats red, white, and blue? idk go ask the president

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So, this guy walks into the doctor's and says: "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says: "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

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What's worse than biting into your apple and realising it has a worm in it? subsequently realising that the worm is a Swamp Adder, the worlds smallest venemous snake. Then you look up and realise you're in the Sahara Desert. You wonder where the snake came from and how it got in the apple.. Then you slowly die.

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how do you know a chinese person has been in your house? #1 your homework is done #2 your computer is upgraded #3 when you get home there still pulling out of your driveway

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ok i'm typing, so how does this work?

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A: Don't hit those black people!!!!! B: Those are trash cans.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Anything you want, it's only a fish.

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there was a blond, a brunette, and a redhead at the edge of a cliff The blond being stupid jumped off the cliff and broke every bone in her body

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What do you do when there is a truck on the interstate? Nothing.

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Why did the man explode when he ate the cheeseburger? Because the man was actually a bomb.

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Why didn't suzie go to school yesterday? She was brutally hacked into pieces and now she"ll never experience school again

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Knock Knock Whose there? Lemons Lemons who? The fruit

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a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar. they all wish me happy birthday bearing gifts. except there's no rabbi. or priest. or shaman. I'm not in a bar. I'm in my room. alone. i spent most of my birthdays that way.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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what does a black car sound like when it starts? RUN-NIGGA-NIGGA-NIGGA-NIGGA -GRANT PARK ALL THE WAY

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whats the difference between a cat and a rooster? who the hell cares, all black people should die

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Every time you make fun of an Ethiopian child he dies a little on the inside.. But that's probably just from the hunger..

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Q:What did the goat die? A: I dont know everything dies

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a horse walks into a bar except it wasn't a horse it was Sarah Jessica Parker

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Q)Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? A)Because the P is silent.

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How do you get a small freckly boy to stop watching television. You turn off the television.

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What do you call a black person pushing a car? A very strong human being.

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What do you call a group of men terrible at their jobs? The Mets

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Knock Knock Who is there? 9-11 9-11 who? You said you would never forget.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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