What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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you know what hurts.... PAIN

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

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Black Veil Brides.

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

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What did the boy do when he got locked out his house go on anti joke and make a stupid joke about him being locked out

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A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

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A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

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How u know when ur sister have periods... Fathers dig taste like blood

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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