Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

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Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

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whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

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There's no "i" in tim.

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

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Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

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whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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what do you call a animal with 3 horns. a triceratops

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What's 17 times worse than a 3? I don't know, personally I don't think 3's are so bad.

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Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

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roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops