Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why wasnt the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled

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What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

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Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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Bin Laden comes out of a cave

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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