heres a great game to play... DEATH TO BABIES!

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What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

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What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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what said the girl when the roof collapsed over her nothing she died

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

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What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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Whats the differance between a preist and acne? Acne dosent cum on your face untill your 12

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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whats the difference between a battery and a charger

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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