Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

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why did little marwisheafuck want a cat for hanukock because her dad had ciilled a black priest that ate free mdicks out of a mshitfuck

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What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

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There's no "i" in tim.

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The Holocaust

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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