A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

A seal walks into a club.

What is next?

ugh good riddance

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

Why was Johnny crying? Because... Because... Because... Because... Because... Because of the wonderful things he does.

Why did the 15 year old girl not enjoy her taco? Because the man making her taco was kid napped and replaced with a female that forgot to put cheese on it.

Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

Why was the jewish girl happy? Her pussy was wet!

What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

A duckling is following its mother, but gets separated. Noticing that her child is lost the mother duck calls out, and the duckling finds her quickly.

Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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