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How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

Kah-________-

Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

-When is a door not a door? -Never

what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

Why is Alex Mann Fat? Because he doesnt eat healthy food.

How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

whats wrong with 4 blackmen in a jaguar falling over a cliff?? That was my car...

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

tänk om jag inte vill läga upp en ny

Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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