Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

Roses are red Violets are blue Its just a bulge I swear its not a bomb

What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

You know what is better than winning a race in the Special Olympics? Winning two races.

Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

Four homosexuals walk into a bar and theres only one bar stool left how do they all sit down on that one bar stool. They flip the bar stool around and sit down all together

The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

Why Was my mommy gone last night? -cause I ****ed her

I like vagina, hahahahah!!!!!!!!!!

Knock Knock Come in

Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

What's worse than being beaten by your Father? Well, it depends.

Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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