Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

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What did the black man say to the jewish man? Hello.

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What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

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Steven bought an apple And then he went home and fed it too his pet Jim (he was a fish and then sadly died from being overfed)

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A 36 year old Canadian woman.

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a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

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Woman's rights

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

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This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

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Six million.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its just a bulge I swear its not a bomb

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why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

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A: Knock, Knock! B: Who's there? A: Boo B: Boo, who? A: Don't cry, it's only me!

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Polly went out for a cigarette. Then she was raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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