How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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How many Jews can you fit in an ash tray? 1 million.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

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Do you need any assistance?

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JESUS SAYS PICTURE HERE ..... Throws a party for 12 people the world still talks about 2012 years latter !

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Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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Period Blood

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Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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9/11

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Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

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whats really hot the sun

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"Up to 50% off."

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Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

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Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

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What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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