What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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Why was the boy with a green and blue collared shirt holding a bottle of rice dead at the bottom of the sea? Because he was pushed of a boat and couldn't swim.

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What did the Ethiopian get for christmas? Hepatitis B.

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

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An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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One jew, three Canadians and a Dutch man walk into the bar. The jew buys a beer for the Dutch guy, then the Dutch guy responds with.. "Thank you."

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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solve y = [1 arctan (x)] / [2-3 arctan (x)]

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your mom is so gay that...wrong, a homosexual women is considered a lesbian.

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Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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poop

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A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

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Whats fat, brown and on the ground? A chubby indian kid

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Jesse ziggenfat hates his life. He's really obese. Just like his mom...and his sister...and his brother.....and his dad.... And his dog? Bacon?

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Sonic

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how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

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Flab

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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