I'm going to Re-write History... History

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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Whats black and has wheels a black man i lied about the wheels

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There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

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What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

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What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

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Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

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Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

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Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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roses are red violets are blue however some roses are pink

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What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

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Not at all, I find your perception of things like that quite pleasing, you obviously care about me, and care about your wife, that's nice.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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women's rights

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So a black man walked into a bar and ordered a drink. He payed for the drink and couldn't have been more courteous

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Why should you rape a dog instead of a human. Because there esier to catch

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Q: What is the most common question among children? A: How are babies made?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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