A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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How did the chicken cross the road? By foot.

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LOL. It's East vs LA and Durant

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

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why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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like for a handjob.

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Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

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whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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