How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

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World Peace

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a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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flip flop chop, clip clop cow, POW. hahahahahah. :).

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Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

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What did the cancer patient do during Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair"? -Nothing.

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How many testicles did Adolph Hitler have? Two.

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What has two wheels, two arms, and a head? A man in a wheelchair. Why was he in a wheelchair? He stepped on a landmine. A man walks, I'm sorry rolled, into a bar.

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What did Tarzan say when the monkeys came over the hill? Hey look, the monkeys are coming over the hill.

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why was the boy so ugly, because he had downs

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks, and goes home an hour or so later.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

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What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

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Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

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Why did the orange drive the tractor? Because he always wanted to go to the moon.

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A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

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gay rights

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So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

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What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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