My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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Why was the jewish girl happy? Her pussy was wet!

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A duckling is following its mother, but gets separated. Noticing that her child is lost the mother duck calls out, and the duckling finds her quickly.

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1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

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An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

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Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

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Your mom is so black that her skin tone is darker than most people

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

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what do you call someone who kills jews? a life saver

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How do you starve a black family? Hide there government assistance card under their work boots!

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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Why did Tommy get a wedgie? He was gay, and his parens were dead, so the school bully,decided to wedge his underwear up his butt.

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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what did the scientist say in Siberia? burrrrrrrrrrilium

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why did the chicken cross the street? it didn't.

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Yo momma is so fat that you should really take her to the hospital, i've become very concerned for her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops