What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies In a tub 10 and 1/2

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Why is Joel so gay and skinny? He was raised by goats with eating disorders.

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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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Do you know whats not funny black jokes that arent racist. You belendo!!!

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You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are walking down the street when they find a genie. They run away in fear because finding a genie out of nowhere is kinda freaky.

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Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Don't think of granny porn

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A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

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Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

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Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

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what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

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What's the difference between a BMW and pile of dead babies? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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