like for a handjob.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

don't look behind you

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you get when an Asian and a black person have a baby? Black and yellow. Black and yellow. Black and yellow. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did one mexican say to the other Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Yo momma is so average, she has to maintain her own facebook account...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

a chinese man and an irishman walk into a bar. This is odd because these men are from countries extremely far apart from one another

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why was the boy so ugly, because he had downs

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what do u call a person who reads anti.jokes a hipster

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops