What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

thumb_up thumb_down +58

A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Knock knock (No one is home)

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Christopher Walken to a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

LOL. It's East vs LA and Durant

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How did the chicken cross the road? By foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops