A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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Hitler: I said PASS THE JUICE! not GAS THE JEWS!

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penis hehehehe

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who keeps shitting in my garden?

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Potato.

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

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What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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There's no "i" in tim.

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Why was Timmy sad?

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Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

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A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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Japan called... They need help.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

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What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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