Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there?" A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there!?" A: Knock knock knock B: "God dammit who's there!?" A: "Penny?"

What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

What happen to the boy who poured water on his head? He got wet.

That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

What did the boy who got picked on everyday do? He took the bullies advice and killed himself.

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

Not at all, I find your perception of things like that quite pleasing, you obviously care about me, and care about your wife, that's nice.

What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

So a black man walked into a bar and ordered a drink. He payed for the drink and couldn't have been more courteous

Roses are red, violets are blue, I ate your horse.

What do chicken babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

What's worst that the Holocaust? Another one.

I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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