A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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math test 2=2

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baby loves lalma

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penis hehehehe

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What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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Women's rights.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

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Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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Black Veil Brides.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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