why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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The Holocaust

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

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oh hiya come in

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

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A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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