Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Nah

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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Penis.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

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96

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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What's 17 times worse than a 3? I don't know, personally I don't think 3's are so bad.

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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