I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

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- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

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You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

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Women's sports

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HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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What did the kid say when you gave him a cookie? Thank you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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