Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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blind man walks into a . . . .. .

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How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its just a bulge I swear its not a bomb

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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YOLO

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

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The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

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What's worse than locking your keys in ur at outside of an abortion clinic? Going in side and asking for a coat hanger!!

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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What do you call a gay man flying an aeroplane? A pilot.

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why did the chicken cross the street? it didn't.

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Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

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An Oldish (probably 27) man walks into a chuck-e cheese, He then puts on his coustume.

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Knock Knock Come in

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a big fat bully!

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What's worse than being beaten by your Father? Well, it depends.

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Why did Eve eat the fruit first? Because women are whores.

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Whats fat, brown and on the ground? A chubby indian kid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops