People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

-When is a door not a door? -Never

Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

What is next?

Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

Chayton

What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple being murdered

What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

Whats the different between a black man and white man...... the different levels melanin in the skin that results in pigment

solve y = [1 arctan (x)] / [2-3 arctan (x)]

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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