Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, Dick in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A jewish man is sitting on a bench. A german man then proceeds to sit down next to him. They say nothing to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

i dislike sack in my mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... I guess no ones home.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Yes, finally caught that mouse!

thumb_up thumb_down +60

A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

you know what hurts.... PAIN

thumb_up thumb_down +44

do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

thumb_up thumb_down +44

what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Girl: Do you like me :D Boy: No Girl: =( Boy: You didn'y ask me if i loved you Girl: :D Do you love me Boy: Naw

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Chapter 6 : The pimp ``scooby`` tells how delivered the poor young people to people with money.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Black Veil Brides.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Nah

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops