Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tied to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do black people suck? Because they're black

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q:How many Jews can you fit in a car? A:Two in the front, two in the back, and however many will fit in the ashtray.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

my computer crashed because i never quit... out of anything

thumb_up thumb_down -8

maddie latino

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did brad pay the sexy looking librarian with a big smile on his face? Becouse brad returned his books to late and had to pay a fine for that. The librarian made a joke about the fact that it was a waste of money to return the books late.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do snozberries taste like? Lama

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Kesley Ioannou not shopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!" The other bar patrons ask him what is wrong, to which he replies, "I stubbed my toe."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was ferociously raped by a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your TV

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

monkey sponge

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How much is an abortion? A life

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A Rabbi, a Priest, and an Atheist walk into a restaurant. They receive terrible service, and do not leave a tip.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shot in the face by a shotgun that shoots fireworks that explodes into chainsaw bullets.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? Mittens

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a strait man that is also gay? Bisexual.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what do you call someone that works in a corner shop? Mohamed

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob Matthews.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops