did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

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What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

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heres a great game to play... DEATH TO BABIES!

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What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

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what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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what said the girl when the roof collapsed over her nothing she died

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So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

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Whats the differance between a preist and acne? Acne dosent cum on your face untill your 12

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

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I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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What did the kid use to smell his food His nose

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Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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whats the difference between a battery and a charger

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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