A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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What did Squidqard say to Spongebob? Shut up.

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I was in the grocery store on a sunday afternoon, and i saw a black man. To my surprise, HE DIDN'T BUY ANY FRIED CHICKEN?!?!

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whydid the little boy drown? he can't swim

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Where did the eight year old go during the Boston bombing? Everywhere.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding, he can't walk.

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What is worse than getting a virus on your computer? Having your mother die of malaria

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe. N

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A black man walks into a bar and see's a mexican bartender. He orders some vodka.

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A hippie gets on a bus and greets the bus driver in a nice fashion Once the bus stops at his bus stop he thanks the bus driver and gets off the bus

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, Dick in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

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What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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Q. Why was the cat brown? A. because it was a maori

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What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

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A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

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The african american male looked into his refridgerator hoping to have some orange juice to drink with his breakfast. All he had was Kool-Aid. He then proceeded to drink the Kool-Aid.

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What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? Fix it, call a repair man, call the landlord, do the dishes by hand or don't do them at all... your options are endless.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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