what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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knock knock go away ok

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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Black Veil Brides.

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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There's no "i" in tim.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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Why was Timmy sad?

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That didn't hurt.

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Why did the child step on a ball?

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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Why wasnt the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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