A jewish man is sitting on a bench. A german man then proceeds to sit down next to him. They say nothing to each other.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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i dislike sack in my mouth

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Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... I guess no ones home.

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Customer: Can I have a tin of red paint, please? Shop owner: I'm sorry sir, we only have yellow paint left. Customer: That's ok, I have my bike with me.

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I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

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What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

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How is a white orphan like a black baby? Neither are sure who their parents are :(

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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Yes, finally caught that mouse!

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

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want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

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Canada

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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you know what hurts.... PAIN

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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