How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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What do you call a group of black people? You don't You call the cops first.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

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whats the difference between a rapist and a pedophile? the racist has his own whistle

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.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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Why did the 15 year old girl not enjoy her taco? Because the man making her taco was kid napped and replaced with a female that forgot to put cheese on it.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

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Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

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As if it helps your self esteem: Nothing yet, Be the first to comment.

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Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

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What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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