You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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YOUR MOM HAS A DICK IN HER ASSCHEEKS!!!

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What did the devil say to the baby with four arms? I am evil.

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Why did i drink 4 sodas? Because i was thirsty

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Why do horses read books? We are all doomed...

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- I did your mom last night! - Thanks, Dad.

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What is the difference between a duck?

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Two tubes of ice cream are sitting in a freezer, one turns to the other and says "its bloody freezing in here" God then corrects this apparent mistake in the combined laws of physics and biology

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There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

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What do you call a dead prostitute? - You (or friends name) in 10 years

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A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A Derrick Rose jersey.

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There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

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Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

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Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? To get to the other side.

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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This is like another one: Terry is at work eating a cookie.. He drops his cookie. His co worker trys to pick it up, however he accidently stands on it. Turns out terry can keep a grudge, nine years later, he killed his co worker with a shovel.

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Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

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if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

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69

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Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

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How did bob Marley quit doing Drugs?

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Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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