I saw a chameleon. Then it died

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is the best school in Victoria? Lyndale.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the jewish girl happy? Her pussy was wet!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock What

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The Bible

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is next?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a BMW and pile of dead babies? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the 15 year old girl not enjoy her taco? Because the man making her taco was kid napped and replaced with a female that forgot to put cheese on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You might be a redneck if you are from a rural area and act as such.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Death

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops