what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

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who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

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Womens Rights.

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What did the Catholic Priest do to the 9-year-old boy? He ate him. The priest was actually Jeffery Dahmer.

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A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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women

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what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

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What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

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guess what? What? you have to guess...your mama

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Whats worse than finding a jew in your bed. Jake skellern

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How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

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What do you get when you cross corn with more corn? A devestating force that will make you live on a rowboat and perform demeaning puppet shows you will not Even enyoy!!!!

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Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

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"Up to 50% off."

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What do you call a wine-o? A Alco-colic.

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A robbery occurred at Temple University, the perpetrator is an African-American male, 5'11", wearing jeans and a black sweatshirt. Be on the look out and notify the police if seen

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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