What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the boy miss the school bus? He died in his sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

thumb_up thumb_down +35

John:Why couldn't the T-Rex clay his hands? Billy:Because his arms are too small! John:no he's extinct dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the kid say when you gave him a cookie? Thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the mexican jump when he heard police sirens? The sirens where very lound and abrupt. Therefore startling this mexican man.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

George Bush.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops