What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

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Romney 2012

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if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam? To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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The Charlotte bobcats.

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo

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B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

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There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

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What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

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two men are walking and nobody falls becouse they use a power balance

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What do you get if you cross a black man with a sword? A dead black man

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Why couldn't the moose find a good hotel for the night? A moose wouldn't have any currency available and quite frankly, no one would let him in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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