Boy: whats for dinner Kidnapper: beans and weiners

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Hi

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Roses are black biolets are black I colorblind

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What do we want? Chips!! When do we want them? Chips

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why did the baby die? It was born with cancer

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Q. Why was the cat brown? A. because it was a maori

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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how did the little girl die cancer

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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Why did the blonde put lysol in the soup? to kill her husband

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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Women's football

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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Women's rights.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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