why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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democracy

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

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What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

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What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

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Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

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i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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