Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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How do you stop a pedophile from following you? Throw a fridge at him

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

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what is stupid and reading this you

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

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Men's rights.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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Hey man have you ever seen Stevie Wonders house? ... Neither has he

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Ben Colbert is gay

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knock! knock! whos there!?! abandoned baby!

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Roses are black biolets are black I colorblind

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why did the man fall over he was a loaf of bread

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A black man walks into a bar and see's a mexican bartender. He orders some vodka.

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A hippie gets on a bus and greets the bus driver in a nice fashion Once the bus stops at his bus stop he thanks the bus driver and gets off the bus

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

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What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

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i dislike sack in my mouth

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

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Why do I hate Jews? - Because they use to much space in the oven.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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