Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

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What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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Knock knock What

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

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What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

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Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

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The 19th Amendment

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Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

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The funniest tragedy in his young life...wasn't funny.

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An Irishman, a Mexican and an American sit a test. They all pass.

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

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Why couldn't sally drive her car? Because sally is a girl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops