How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

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What do you do when you need shade? CALL RAYSEAN

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Women's rights...

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What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

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An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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whats the difference between a battery and a charger

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Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

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What is next?

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A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

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What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

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Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

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what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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