How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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A robbery occurred at Temple University, the perpetrator is an African-American male, 5'11", wearing jeans and a black sweatshirt. Be on the look out and notify the police if seen

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Whats worse than finding a jew in your bed. Jake skellern

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no

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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Do you need any assistance?

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What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

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Where's my tractor?

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what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

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Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

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A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

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Barack Obama

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The Bible

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What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

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Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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The funniest tragedy in his young life...wasn't funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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