Why did the monkey follow the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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Are you from Nebraska? 'Cuz you're the only ten i see.

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A duck, a mailman, and a poet were contemplating suicide, then they changed their minds.

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Whats something thats red and swings A baby on a meat hook

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Cornbread ain't nothin wrong with that.

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What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

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What is worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? One baby stapled to 50 trees. What is worse than one baby stapled to 50 trees? One tree stapled to 50 babies.

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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your mamma so fat she is homosexual... hahaha to bad u will get last in her

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why do I hate Jews? - Because they use to much space in the oven.

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

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What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

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Did you hear about the boy who got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize that he can play it at night too.

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A white man and a black woman run for president The Black woman received 65% of all woman votes, 75% of all Hispanics and 99% of all black votes. The White man still won, and was a great president.

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What is the difference between Santa, and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney

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Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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