Why Was my mommy gone last night? -cause I ****ed her

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Yo mamma is so nice, when she bakes a batch of cookies, there's enough for everybody.

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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If you asked an alzheimer's patient what the meaning of life is, what answer would you get? Probably an answer that doesn't respond to the question but is bound to be hilarious.

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The horse said "nay."

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Six million.

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Woman's rights

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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what reason a man dont cry when the dog of his own childs dies? *guess the answer now a) he killed it b) he didnt like it c) a + b

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What is brown and sticky? The substance used to line your stomach when getting your stomach pumped.

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What's red, loose, and easy to wear? A rock. I lie about everything.

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How did the fat man die? Type 2 diabetes

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why did the chicken cross the street? it didn't.

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a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

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What do you call a black man with a group of 5 white guys? Friends. What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys? a diffrent ratio of black and white friends.

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Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has been diagnosed with chronic insomnia.

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how do you spell ugly ? U G L Y.

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i eat poop

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What's flatter than a pancake? The baby I just ran over.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

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girls are a lot like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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