What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

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whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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Yes, finally caught that mouse!

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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you know what hurts.... PAIN

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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Girl: Do you like me :D Boy: No Girl: =( Boy: You didn'y ask me if i loved you Girl: :D Do you love me Boy: Naw

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Chapter 6 : The pimp ``scooby`` tells how delivered the poor young people to people with money.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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Nah

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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