A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

42.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

stop it ryan vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A Christian, a Jew and a Muslim fly in an airplane. They all reach safely to their destination and have a lovely vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the muffin say to the oven? Obviously nothing since neither one can talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

hey

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a catholic priest and a young boy

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the man from Hiroshima see when he looked up at the sky on August 6th, 1945? Some birds.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Hi Shelby!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Ass

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What rhymes with turtle? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what do you call a black man named mike

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops