LOL. It's East vs LA and Durant

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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like for a handjob.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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¸Knock Knock whos there Penis penis who your family has penis cancer

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whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

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Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

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whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

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how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

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What's the best thing to say to a deaf person? Nothing. They are hearing impaired and won't hear you.

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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