Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Miranda Lorenz is a WHORE!!! She has slept with three guys while in a relationship!! then when he broke up with her for cheating on him, she keyed his car!! Psycho Bitch!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

oh hiya come in

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

thumb_up thumb_down +28

(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You know what's never heard of? Father's Day in Camden.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's white and likes to likes to take frequent jogs? Stephen Hawkings, I meant so say remain motionless

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I cat tried to jump over a fence It was electrified

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How is it called a black man piloting a plane? Pilot, you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops