Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... I guess no ones home.

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What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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how did the little girl die cancer

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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What do you call a person on a swing? F u c k N i g g e r s

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Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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knock knock go away ok

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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