A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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Japan called... They need help.

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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That didn't hurt.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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I have no ideas.

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What's 17 times worse than a 3? I don't know, personally I don't think 3's are so bad.

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

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Have you ever met a black man who wasn't good at basketball? I have, quite regularly.

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How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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Q. What's better than a breadmaker? A. A sandwhich.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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