Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding, he can't walk.

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Where did the eight year old go during the Boston bombing? Everywhere.

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how did the thirteen year old girl get pregnant? she was raped.

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, Dick in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

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What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

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A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

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The african american male looked into his refridgerator hoping to have some orange juice to drink with his breakfast. All he had was Kool-Aid. He then proceeded to drink the Kool-Aid.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms

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How is a white orphan like a black baby? Neither are sure who their parents are :(

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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math test 2=2

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baby loves lalma

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penis hehehehe

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Halo < COD

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What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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